The last few weeks have been tricky ones chez Motherese.
Just as I was getting into my fall groove, I started to notice some strange physical symptoms. At first, I chalked up the pins-and-needles in my left pinky toe to an unnoticed running injury. I’ll take a few days off, I figured, and see if it improves. Then, while my toe continued to tingle, I woke up one Sunday morning to feel numbness running up and down my right hand and forearm. It’ll go away as soon as I get up and start moving around, I figured.
No such luck.
A couple of weeks, two doctor visits, a blood test, and an MRI later, I found out that I have neither MS nor a brain tumor; my thyroid is healthy; my B vitamin levels are normal; and the gestational diabetes that I experienced during my pregnancy with Baby Sister was not re-asserting itself as full-blown diabetes. All of this was good news. No, it was great news. But I still didn’t have an explanation for the symptoms that I was experiencing.
Until yesterday, that is.
My family doctor sent me to another physician for an EMG and a nerve conduction test to try to figure out the source of the tingling. I had never met this doctor before and was, I’ll admit, a bit skeptical when I entered his out-of-date office in an out-of-the-way building. But I got over my skepticism as soon as Dr. B. opened his mouth.
Before he led me into the exam room to strap electrodes to my hands and stick needles into my muscles, he asked me to sit down in an easy chair so he could hear about my symptoms in my own words.
“I block out 45 minutes for every appointment,” he explained. “My approach is a holistic one. I don’t like to feel rushed.”
We talked for a long time. I told him about the odd sensations that had been dancing around my feet and hands and even my face. I told him about the tightness in my middle back that seized me so hard sometimes that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. And then I told him about my eye surgeries this summer. I told him about having three kids in three-and-a-half years. I told him about being in the hospital for the month before Baby Sister was born. I told him about living 600 miles away from my family. I told him about clenching my jaw so hard that I cracked two fillings.
“It’s hard sometimes,” I said, shrugging my shoulders in apology.
“Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t dismiss how hard it is. It’s okay to say it’s hard. It is hard.”
“I guess,” I conceded.
“What do you to take care of yourself?” he asked.
“I run,” I said. “I do yoga. I write. I read a lot.”
“Good, good, that’s all good,” he nodded. “Do you feel like it’s enough?”
“I think so. When I actually make time to do them.”
He started his physical exam, then, checking my reflexes and my legs and arms. I heard him sigh softly when he got to my neck and shoulders.
“Do you think it’s a running injury?” I prodded. “Do you think it’s carpal tunnel?”
“No. No, I don’t,” he shook his head. “I haven’t done the nerve tests yet, but even without them, I’m 90% sure I know what the problem is.”
“What’s that?”
He walked around the exam table to look me in the eye. “I’ve been practicing medicine for 32 years. And you have the tightest back I have ever seen,” he said. “With muscles that tight, it’s no wonder you’re experiencing tingling in your hands and feet. I’m actually surprised it’s not worse than it is.”
The rest of his exam and the nerve study confirmed his suspicions. The EMG was normal. The problems in my hands and feet were coming from my back.
“So what do I do?” I asked after he shared his conclusions.
“Stretching. Massage. Exercise. Lifestyle modification. Acupuncture, if you’re interested,” he rattled off, then stopped and slid his glasses down his nose. “I know your oldest is five, but those shoulders have more than five years of tension in them. What you need to think about, Kristen, is how you can carve out more time to take care of yourself. And you need to do it now.”
“Right now?” I asked.
“Doctor’s orders.”
When was the last time you felt like a doctor was really listening to you? Are you a proponent of Western medicine, an advocate of alternative medicine, or a dabbler in both? Have you ever tried acupuncture? Should I?
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
I have tried acupuncture and it helped. I’ve been suffering for the last five months with an injury to my shoulder and arm. My doctor thinks it’s all from my back and neck. It’s frustrating because healing has been so slow. I hope you feel better and I hope you are able to take the time the doctor asked you to take for yourself. xo
Thank you for your good wishes, Ayala. I hope your shoulder and arm feel better too!
Thank you, Kristen. :)
Wow. Your doctor sounds wonderful.
I had the numb, tingly feeling a few years back. They pinpointed it to my shoulder/neck area and sent me to physical therapy. It really helped, and I still use the stretches and exercises that they taught me when I feel the pain and numbness coming back. I have also figured out that my purse was a huge problem. Now I mostly use backpacks or sling bags.
I am considering acupuncture for migraines, but haven’t done the research on it yet to know what to expect time and cost wise.
I hope you are feeling better. Maybe you should follow your doctor’s advice and go get a massage today.
I have a massage booked for Friday and I can’t wait! :)
It’s amazing to me how common this problem seems to be. Ever since I started telling people about it, I have been hearing about more and more women who seem to have these symptoms.
I hadn’t thought about my purse (more like a bowling bag these days) and the pressure that it’s no doubt putting on my neck and shoulders. Thanks for the tip!
I’m so glad he listened. How awesome. Seriously.
Acupuncture was my saving grace when I had unrelenting migraines. A few sessions, and just like you, doctors orders to care for myself, and I was on the semi right track :) I honestly haven’t dealt with migraines that bad ever since.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m a little bit scared of the needles. Usually, I have no problem with needles. Hmm…maybe my reluctance is a sign that it’s something I really need to try. (Look at me, trying to be all Zen-like!) :)
If you can handle a needle in your eye, acupuncture will be a walk in the park! Seriously. You don’t even really feel it.
Wow. This doctor sounds phenomenal. I’m also struck because many years ago – before I had kids – I had numbness and tingling in my hands and abdomen, and underwent a serious battery of testing to rule out the same things you cite (MS, brain tumor). They never really figured out what it was and the symptoms seemed to resolve after about a year, but it gives me goosebumps to read how similar your situation is. Yet another way we are kindred! xoxo
Always proud to be kindred with you, my dear, in good times and bad! xo
Your doctor sounds FABULOUS. And I am so glad that he’s discovered the source of your problems. I have long believed in the mind-body connection, and find, at least for myself, that stress and stress-related symptoms are often at the root of seemingly dramatic maladies. New Mexico is a haven for integrative medicine, although I’ve had a hard time finding the right person. I have done acupuncture before (for non-physical symptoms), and while it didn’t do much for me personally, I think it has enormous potential for healing. And massage. If you lived here, I would give you the number of my enormously talented massage therapist. I would work hard to find a good one.
Of course, for me, the interesting part of all of this is what your body is “saying” to you. The less we listen, the louder our bodies talk to us. And they’ll keep talking until we pay attention. What he said about having more than five years of tension built up seems illuminating. Motherhood may have been the catalyst, but it seems like this stress goes back further. Exploring the seat of that might be interesting in and of itself.
Good luck on your journey of health and healing! Much love coming your way.
Thank you, E, for your comment and for your support throughout this process of finding an explanation for my symptoms.
You probably won’t be surprised that I’ve spent the 48 hours since my appointment thinking about the roots of my tension and trying to figure out how to become a better listener to my body. Clearly it made enough noise for me to pay attention. Now I have to figure out what it wants – and then make sure I do it!
xo
I am SO glad your symptoms are not of anything serious, but your wonderful doctor is right, you still need to address them. Sometimes it takes an outsider to point out the obvious, right? Acupuncture is amazing. A coworker of mine is getting his Masters and he tells me stories of tight muscles that release completely with a needle in the right spot. You may even find someone who is a PT and acupuncturist, who will address your tight muscles from both perspectives. I’ve had a tough year of mysterious symptoms too (GI kind) and am about to embark on a series of invasive testing. I am not surprised that my body is breaking down under all the stress. Just hope it’s not a bad kind of breakdown.
Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry to hear this. You are so incredibly strong, but I guess I’m not surprised that your body is starting to talk to you too.
Want to come out and visit so I can hook you up with my new doctor? Maybe you and I could book weekly side-by-side massages from now until 2112? xo
Wow, what an amazing physician! How lucky you didn’t get someone who would just push some drugs at you. And it is so hard, isn’t it, as moms to take care of ourselves? I hope that you find a way to do it.
Regarding the teeth grinding: I have cracked three teeth because of grinding and ground holes through gold crowns. I’ve been wearing one of those night guards for years (still grind down/off my crowns). Recently my sister sent me this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQzQREk_7-Y&feature=relmfu. The lady is a little kookie and her hair is kind of distracting, but I’ve been doing the stretches/massage for a couple of weeks (my husband freaks out if I put a cork in my mouth so I don’t do that) and I really feel my jaw relaxing, I wake up without my mouth clamped shut and I’m trying to wean myself off the night guard. Full-body yoga and massage would help too, but I (like you) don’t have/make time for it. Anyway, just a bit of unsolicited advice, but it might help just one tiny bit of your overall stress.
Whoa, that Kiki is quite a character! (Especially with that cork in her mouth. Yeah, whoa.) But I do think she’s onto something. I just went through the exercises once and already feel a lot of heat and energy in my jaw (in a good way). Thanks for the link, my fellow grinder!
I dabble in both, and with relative success. There are certain aspects of each that work for me. I’ve not done acupuncture, but I have done acupressure, which helped me immensely! I would suggest asking your doctor (who, by the way, I already love, and I’ve never met him) if he thinks this would be a safe gateway into acupuncture. I know two women who use it (one for migraine headaches, with a lot of success, and another for RA, with less success).
I will say this: take his orders seriously. I was in that place nearly four years ago, and it was awful. It will get worse if you ignore it. My doctor at the time thought RA, MS, Lupus, Cancer. Granted, I do have arthritis, but it was stress and tension that was making me feel absolutely awful. It can sometimes be hard for me to remember that my brain is still an organ of my body, and deserves to be taken care of!
“It can sometimes be hard for me to remember that my brain is still an organ of my body, and deserves to be taken care of!”
It’s hard – clearly – for me to remember that too. There is so much wisdom in these words. Thank you for reminding me and thank you for your support. xo
Your doctor sounds amazing. It is so rare to find someone who listens the way he did. So, so rare. I’m glad he was able to give you answers and direct you toward concrete therapies. Here’s hoping you feel positive effects from them soon!
Hi Kristen, Thanks so much for coming by my blog! I really appreciated your comment. Your blog title has always sounded familiar…I’m glad to finally meet you too.
It is amazing how much havoc stress can cause your body…how awful that you ever even had to spend a minute agoning over whether you had MS or a brain tumor…
Coming from a Chinese family, I’ve learned to believe in alternative therapies, although I feel very, very clueless in terms of how to choose my own treatments. I spent years believing in western medicine, and only after reading Dr. Andrew Weil’s works did I start to think that maybe my parents knew what they were talking about. When my father was diagnosed with adult onset diabetes, my mom started making some soup out of chicken and lime and fed this to him regularly…he no longer has diabetes. And they would do this all the time – nod “yes” to their American doctors and their prescriptions, and then proceed to treat themselves with their own soups and herbs.
I love getting massages and I get one once a month. I’ve tried acupuncture once or twice, but I am not sure if it worked for me or not. My aunt who was a doctor in China decades ago thinks that all acupunturists are quacks, but there are those who swear by it. Maybe you can find a personal referral and see what you think?
Take care! There’s nothing like getting orders from the doctor to relax :-)
Thank you so much, Cecilia! It’s great to meet you too.
After reading your comment last week, I checked out one of Dr. Weil’s books and it’s been serving as my introduction to integrative medicine. He seems to have a knack for showing us the ways that conventional medicine and traditional medicine can be combined to address overall health and wellness. Thanks for the recommendation!
I look forward to continuing to connect with you in the blogosphere!
Hi Kristen,
I spend far too many hours working at my computer and when I don’t sit properly I pay for it. Add “normal” stress, basketball and all the other stuff I do and I find that every few months I wake up because multiple limbs are tingly.
What I have learned is the optimal treatment is to get regular massages. I tried to avoid paying for it but it didn’t work well for me. All the years of weight lifting did wonders for making the back muscular and “resistant” to people who don’t have strong hands.
So I gave in and got paid massages and almost lost my mind with how good it felt. They catch all of the knots and get rid of aches I didn’t realize I have. I can’t afford to go more than once a month, but it is magic.
Really does wonders for me and I see the positive impact on my mental state too.
I got a brief massage at the end of my physical therapy appointment on Friday and it was incredible. Just like you said: the therapist seemed to find knots I didn’t even know were there. I’m definitely a convert.
What an extraordinary experience Kristen, and no doubt a huge relief in many ways. How fortunate to have found a “real physician.” You’re aware of my many go-rounds for years, with still no resolution to most of it.
A real physician is holistic because we are whole entities. They treat the person, not the symptoms.
Wonderful to know a few of these still exist. If only we could train more – and let them know how valued they are in the process.
The juggle is hard. What a relief when someone in “authority” recognizes it!
So do what he says if at all possible! Doctor’s orders indeed.
You got a good one!! It’s such a wonderful thing when a doctor really listens.
I rarely got massages until my bladder surgery this spring, and then I went for physical therapy/lymphatic drainage weekly for a few months. My therapist, Karen, was horrified at the amount of tension/bunching in my shoulder, neck and back area. I do believe she said, “how do you get out out of bed in the morning?”
Nervous small dog syndrome. I have it. It’s not good for you.
Big kisses and thoughts coming your way. I have never been able to relax enough to do yoga, but if you can, that’s great. Plus…get more massages :)
ps: I have the same numb/tingling thing. Autoimmune disorders seem to love women. I have Raynaud’s phenomenon and Factor 5 (leiden deficiency–though not sure that is auto-immune) and for a very scary two years, they thought I had MS. Those years were unbearable.
Mama’s even worse! Add to everything I have and then some–lymphoma, possible multiple myeloma, Sjorgen’s syndrome, scleroderma.
Gaaa, the men rarely get these autoimmune crappers. I think it’s because they don’t worry all the time, which I am unable to do.
Take care of yourself and listen to your doc, and I’m here any time if you want to talk.
If there’s a chance that something might work, why not take it?
I didn’t believe in chiropractic until it alleviated my migraines. I still have them, but not to the degree I had.
Try it. It won’t worsen things, that’s for sure.
Reading your post brought me to tears! This doctor sounds like your guardian angel.
I recently tried switching doctors and chose an osteopathic physician- although she is so popular that I can’t get an appointment until April 29th! Hmmm. I like the principles they embody.
However, my vote is for massages and spa. Feel better and as my grandmother used to always say– “Think happy thoughts!”
I’m so glad you’re feeling better (or at least feeling acknowledged, which is part way to feeling better.) I haven’t tired acupuncture, but a while ago, I remember listening to a radio program that discussed a Canadian study that found acupuncture to be effective for pain relief (though there was question as to if the benefits came from the acupuncture it’self, or the act of spending time with a care practitioner who really listened, and didn’t rush the patient in and out of an appointment. The more time I spend in Asia, the more respect I have for traditional medicine. I’m a chiropractic devotee, fully believe in reflexology, and think there’s something to many of the traditional health care practices (the confinement period following birth is one to which I’m fully converted). Anyway, so happy to hear that you’re on your way to some comfort, less tension, and quality me time. Oh, and reflexology is a great wonderful terrific tension reliever. I’m thinking I might slip away for a treatment myself today!
Wow, I know how you feel about getting tons of tests about your condition and ending up with no firm diagnosis. How frustrating!
Good for you to get some kind of answer and I hope it helps. I agree that many problems can start in the back/spine. When I spend too much time on the computer, my hand cramps up on my mouse and I often manage to pinch a nerve in my neck. But I feel no pain in my neck, only in my little finger and that side of my hand. Pain can travel a long way down away from the origin. I tried acupuncture last year for my back pain and it did a great job at relaxing me but nothing for my disk pain (holy basil pills worked like magic though). So good luck if you try that way. I think moving things around several times a day is the best. Swimming could work too. Anything to loosen up your neck and back. I have the same problem but I do ziltch about it until I’m really in pain. Tough to be a mom!
I’ve tried acupuncture twice for different ailments without success. But I have a great body worker/massage person, who I’d totally send you to if we were in the same town. Massage is great, and maybe that’s all you need. But it can take a while to find the right person/modality. It sounds like your back is in need of deep tissue work. Somewhere out there is the right person for you. Don’t let this slide and don’t give up–you’ve been given a warning–a bad back can be just as crippling as MS. My two cents.
How wonderful that he listened to you so closely! I’m a pretty big advocate of holistic everything, including medicine. I hope you’re on the road to recovery. Stress is a bitch, isn’t she??? :)
Scary stuff, but what a great doctor!
Acupuncture and me aren’t great, but chiropractic work is wonderful! As are massages. And more yoga. And hot baths.
All of this makes me think about how i need to be taking better care of myself. But when? And how? Gosh. It is hard.
When and how are the toughest parts, aren’t they, Kate? Obviously part of my problem is connected to the way I deal (or don’t deal) with stress, but I think it’s also part of a larger cultural phenomenon of how we’ve come to raise our kids – often in isolation, without the networks of support that have traditionally continued to nurture women as they nurture their kids. It’s an issue I’m fascinated by.
So glad to hear that you had your symptoms checked by what seems to be a genuinely great doctor. Even happier to hear that he ruled out the more serious conditions.
I know of someone who knew something was wrong but was afraid to know the results, so she never went to the doctor until it was almost too late. (She hates doctors/hospitals). And my favorite aunt never believed in western medicine, choosing only Oriental medicine, and when she died, it was from a condition that would have easily been under control with western medication.
She’s the reason I will never forego one method for another. I now believe in both, preferring to go with a more traditional approach when it comes to prevention, and choosing western medication for the cure most of the time.
“I now believe in both, preferring to go with a more traditional approach when it comes to prevention, and choosing western medication for the cure most of the time.”
This is a path I can definitely see myself walking.
I can SOO relate to this post. Have been having awful back/leg pain for years now-finally dealt with it via pilates/acupuncture/yoga and osteopathy (not all at once!) It ain’t perfect but so much better. And yes, I had the tingling/numbness too. Aging sucks. But it’s nice to know that we are all in this together.
Delia Lloyd
http://www.realdelia.com
Kristen,
I am glad that everything checked out. And grateful to you for posting a positive story about a physician. They are out there and I am glad you chose to acknowledge him.
Oh sweetie, I want to give you a big hug and send you to my masseause. She is amazing! When I was pregnant with Eloise, I visited her every four weeks early on and then every two weeks in the last trimester. It made a huge difference.
Up until two months ago, I hadn’t had a massage since I had Eloise. I have been dealing with a laundry list of running injuries since my VBAC (all related to either a birth injury or a weak core) as well so I have finally made it a point to get myself better. I reinstituted massages every six weeks and have been trying to attend hot yoga at least once a week (nothing makes a bigger difference than this practice…it even got rid of my planter fasciitis for a full 24 hours!)
Anyway, you MUST take care of yourself. You have to keep your energy up for those kiddos AND so we can keep reading your great writing!
Can I get a prescription for that? :)
I know! Me too! Your doctor rocks.
How about chiropractic, too?
I injured my back pretty badly in high school and I’ve been wary of chiropractors ever since. For no good reason, mind you, since I never saw one and it was time and exercise that healed me rather than the orthopedist. So far stretching and very gentle yoga have been working wonders, but I’m not going to eliminate any options.
:)
I have hesitated replying out of fear of being preachy or “out there.” After experiencing numerous health problems for years that we just simply learned to deal with as the doctors had no good answers, my daughter developed acne at age 6. We had her tested to make sure that she was not developing early. This development threw us down a health hole; 8 months ago we went gluten and dairy free. I too had gestational diabetes. I have heard of gluten attacking nerves in people and them experiencing tingling. Once they quit gluten, the tingling stopped within weeks. As a mother I am inspired daily as I read more and more about the benefits of going gluten free. The doctors don’t talk about this. But many mothers do as they solve their families problems. Many gluten free cook books are written by mothers who like me figured out a problem, “why is my 6 year old developing acne?” or “why is my son covered with warts?” author of cooking for Isaiah… I can tell you that our health is immensely improved today, I no longer have blood sugar issues or tingling in my feet. I no longer have acne that I have suffered with for almost 30 years. I am sorry for being preachy, but the more that I have read about gluten and how it has been genetically modified and the harm it is causing people, the more I want to tell people. I wish someone had told me earlier.
Hi Karin,
Thanks for your comment. I’m grateful to you for sharing your experience.
I’m a firm believer that the answer to a health problem doesn’t necessarily come from a doctor and I applaud you for continuing to search until you found a solution that worked for you and your daughter.
I have a friend whose household has recently gone gluten-free to help support her son in some emotional/developmental issues he was facing and it seems to be doing the trick for him. I’ve made some diet modifications since meeting with my holistic practitioner two weeks ago and those, along with other lifestyle changes, have helped me a lot. I haven’t cut out gluten, but I’ll certainly keep it in mind as I continue to assess my symptoms.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Someone may have already said this, but I swear by acupuncture. People always nod when I mention it, and then never go. But it has taught me a lot about the mind-body connection and about how much our culture discourages us to actually care for ourselves. We are expected to go go go and suck it up and not acknowledge that we can’t handle that kind of pace. And by the time we realize we can’t handle it, we’re in the midst of depression and need pharmaceuticals. Acupuncture, on the other hand, as well as herbs (and tea! tea!), are holistic and help balance us out before we get to that point. I started going after my daughter was born and have been preaching about it ever since.
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