It was a summertime ritual: after dinner on a hot, humid evening, we’d pile into the Buick and wind our way up the road and down a hill to the Dairy Queen, the backs of our skinny, shorts-clad legs sticking to the vinyl seat.
Once we arrived, I’d wait in line with my mom while my dad and brothers scouted out some territory on one of the benches next to the parking lot. As the items came up – a large cone for my dad, a Coke float for my older brother, a small dish of vanilla for the younger one – I would ferry them from my mom at the counter to the boys waiting for their treats.
And then it was my turn.
I’d had lots of favorites over the years: the Heath Bar Blizzard, the Dilly Bar, the Mr. Misty. But that year, the year I was eight, I usually ordered an ice cream cone: a perfect chocolate soft-serve minaret with a shell of chocolate dip on top.
That evening, the sun insistent despite the late hour, I attacked my ice cream the way I always did: I bit into the not-yet-hard chocolate shell and slurped up a mouthful of ice cream. I then dismantled the shell, bite by bite, its crunch the perfect appetizer for the smoothness of the ice cream to come.
And then, just as I dislodged the last shard of dip, I noticed the smallest rivulet of chocolate dripping down the cone and onto the fronts of my fingers. I started to eat faster then, trying to stem the tide of melted ice cream. But my efforts were in vain: as I ate the ice cream at the top of the cone, the stream coming from the bottom turned into a torrent and my hand, my pink jelly shoes, and the pavement nearby were drowning in chocolate.
“Kris, you’ve got to lick around,” my mom offered.
“Lick around?”
She took my cone from me then, not afraid of the sticky mess it had become – she had three kids; she’d seen worse – and handed me an extra napkin. She then showed me how she rotated her hand to lick the part where ice cream met cone to keep the drips from turning into rivers.
My mom held onto my cone while I used the napkin to clean my hands and the tops of my feet, the scratchy yellow paper clinging stubbornly to the sticky parts in the webs between my fingers. After I’d tidied up, she gave me back my cone, as neat now as it had been the moment the teenager behind the counter first handed it to me.
“Okay,” she said, “you try.”
I imitated her movements then, alternating delicate bites from the top with housekeeping licks around the bottom.
“It looks like you’ve got it,” she smiled down at me as I beamed up at her.
And I did get it: even the very best things need tending to.

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
What a perfect message to weave into a beautifully written post. Your writing is gorgeous as always.
Well painted picture Kristen. The Mrs. is usually called on to do this when our little ones either can’t handle the task or have had enough. Tending to the best things while driving is a sure sign of a good multi-tasker.
Enjoy your day.
A lovely snapshot from your childhood. Thank you for sharing it was a delight to read. I love the ending …even the very best things need tending to…wise words.
This is beautiful. I love how food is intertwined with our memories. And I also remember learning how to lick around an ice cream cone from my Mom.
Thank you, Kristen! What a treat!
What a delicate and lovely post. I love it. And, now I am dying for some ice cream– soft serve in a cone, please!
Once a summer, we surprise the kids and have ice cream for supper. It’s the little things like that your remember forever. Even now they kids trade stories of the time we have “ice cream dinner.”
Thanks for reminding me of all those happy memories!
Ice cream for dinner?
Now that’s a family tradition I can definitely get behind. :)
This is lovely, like a Mr. Misty under an August moon without the brain freeze. As I stumble through the pre-school of life I thank you for being a top-rate teacher, passing down exactly what we need to know and when we need to know it.
Oh my, how very stunning is this?
How very stunning are *you?*
I love this, so much.
This is absolutely so sweet. I can just feel what you felt as a little girl, paper sticking to your fingers and all.
I love the turn this takes at the end–into something _more_ than just a sweet story. Also: I love these moments as a mother, where I have a chance to show my kids some of the ways of the world–or watch them discover them for themselves.
I have no idea who taught me to lick around an ice cream cone (I preferred to let the shell harden and then chip off that bit first), but the image of your mother being so patient with you and the impending doom of dripping cone really struck a chord with me. It was kind of a nice parallel to the cone. :)
These lesson our moms taught us… I wonder did they know it was more than how to eat ice cream from a cone? And what lessons are we teaching in our everyday lives?
Oh Kristen, my heart melted with your story, not unlike that sticky mess dripping down your hand. You created such a vivid picture – I loved it. The only thing missing is that I wonder what you looked like then… :)
Start by picturing GIANT glasses…
Wouldn’t that be a fun post? Awkward girlhood photos. :)
What a lovely childhood memory! I have very few childhood memories so I hope my kids will have some too (and good ones!). I love these little moments in time where a child learns a new trick, something that seems obvious to us but a young mind can’t compute yet. And then you see the lightbulb shining brightly above their heads. I know I’ve done something right when my eldest shows his brother how to do something he first learned from me.
It is easy for me to picture you as a little girl learning from your mom and to see you now passing along the same advice to your children.
It is important because Ice Cream isn’t to be wasted.
I love the photo. I want to go there now and practice my housekeeping licks.
Oh! This story makes me sooooo happy. You know why, I’m sure. Tending. “Even the best things need tending.” This is bliss. This helps me enormously and I’m totally sending my class to this blog post during the “tending” portion of A Soulful Cleanse from this day forward!
I so remember jelly shoes.
I remember life before I was a mother and trying to imagine how I’d ever have the guts to clean up an ice cream cone. Then love wins and it’s easy as pie. This is one of my favorite examples of Love writ Large as we become parents because it’s something we do without any thought at all. In fact it’s delicious.
Love to you.
Tending! Of course. You know, I hadn’t even made the conscious connection until now, but see how much I’m absorbing? xo
Gorgeous! Even the best things in life…get sticky without tending. I love this bit of wisdom that applies to more than than an ice cream cone.
What a lovely moment and captured so vividly. It’s a vital lesson. Life, even when good, is messy. We need to tend to it.
And with kids – that tending, to some extent, is for our lifetimes.
“Pink jelly shoes”…ahh I remember those. Your writing always gives such clear visuals.
What a beautiful message and memory! And so beautifully written, too. Gorgeous.
(Mr. Misty float was my favorite! Thanks for whisking me down memory lane!)
Did you see I added “stop biting my nails” to my 101 in 1001 list? http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/101-in-1001-update-april-2012/
You’re my inspiration and I’ve got the tools I need. I don’t think I’ll start this until I go on vacation in a few months so it gives me time to set myself ready…
Woohoo! That’s awesome, Milka. Let me know when you get started. We’ll have to find a way to help keep each other on track.
This is so beautiful! I love your imagery and your details. So happy you are going to publish. Have you thought of writing a book???
Only if you write one first! :)
I remember learning to lick an ice cream, too. Mums know all the tricks!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Your words are gorgeous and your last line has left my lungs cleaving for air. Wow.
xo
“housekeeping licks” Yes!
We had a nightly (sure it wasn’t nightly, but I remember it so) tradition of walking to the neighborhood ice cream shop. Fun to remember the maturation of my tastes through the years: from bubble gum hideousness to a well balanced rocky road.
xo
I used to love bubblegum ice cream too. But what is one meant to do with the gumballs? I remember always being disappointed that I couldn’t find a way to eat ice cream and chew gum at the same time.
There’s got to be a metaphor in there somewhere, huh? :)
Oh my gosh Kristen! I love this post. You brought back one of my most favorite memories of time with my mom – memories I had long forgotten. My mom and I had this spontaneous ritual of heading out to Dairy Queen on the hottest, sweatiest, most humid nights. We’d always remember just shy of closing time and rush down in the car. For me it was always a medium twist. My mom loved those Dilly Bars. You’ve brought me to tears, good tears remembering good times.
You nailed that moment, Kristen. I remember moments like those so vividly, only my mother would’ve tossed my cone, not saved it. I just learned something, all these years later.
I have a fond memory of learning the same skill! I think I was younger than eight, though. We lived in a city, so we had to learn the finger foods early. (Like ice cream and water ice. Spoons were frowned upon.)
This resonated with me so much. My Dad would pile all of us up in his Camry and then we would all head to Braums for ice cream. Some of my favorite fondest memories of my family have ice cream in them. Thanks for sharing Kristen.
What a wonderful memory! I love how your mom guided you through this.
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