Image by Pink Poppy Photography
Hello. My name is Kristen.
As a very little girl, I was called “Krissy,” a name that my mom’s brothers and sister still use for me and which never fails to make me giggle.
I then became “Kris” and remain so to my parents, my younger brother, Husband, our extended families, and a few good friends.
My older brother usually calls me “Gisela-Gerda,” a name from a dialogue we found in our high school German textbook. (He’s “Hans-Jürgen.” Of course.)
For years, I was “Miss S_____” and then “Mrs. L_____.”
And now I’m “Mommy.”
These days we’re big into nicknames chez Motherese. Each of our kids has a bevy of nicknames that we deploy at various times based on our moods, whims, and, sometimes, their behavior. From versions of their actual names and the names I use for them here on the blog to standard terms of endearment and random food items, the boys have learned to respond to all of them – as will, I assume, Baby Sister.
Yesterday, though, I found myself using that classic move of parents everywhere: tossing aside the nicknames and reprimanding my kids by using their full names. First. Middle. Last.
As in, “Jacob Adam Jones, do not throw Legos at your brother.”
Or, “David Thomas Robinson, put your clothes in the hamper right now.”
And the funny thing is that all of my kids have beautiful middle names. Special names we chose to honor special people. And I never use those names except to reprimand them.
Yes, I have become that parent. :)
What’s your name? Do you like it? What do you like to be called? Do your kids have wacky nicknames?
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Fun post!! I actually go by my middle name. My full name is Marie Julie Christine. My father doesn’t remember why it ended up like that so it will always remain a mystery. I love using my boys middle names and we too have a host of personal endearments.
WHAT?
I go by my middle name these days, but I always used my first name when I was younger, so half my friends call me by one, and half by the other. Very confusing! Of my girls, one is always called by a nickname (the moment she was put in my arms, I started using the diminutive of her name, and we have ever since), and one is called by a diminutive of her middle name (because her sister could pronounce that easier than her first name when she was born).
And when they’re in trouble, it is first name, middle name, MY maiden name, and our last name! And if it’s big trouble, they get my middle name and my sister’s middle name tacked on, too.
It sounds like you’re facing a serious memory challenge whenever your girls get into serious trouble. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen too often! :)
Almost everyone on my dad’s side of the family goes by their middle name like the previous commenter… I always thought it was odd, but maybe it’s more common than I thought?
It certainly sounds like it’s common from the commenters we’ve heard from so far.
The first name Kristen WITH AN E is a GREAT name… I would know. :)
Three cheers for Kristens (spelled the correct way, of course)! ;)
I think Kristen – and versions thereof – must be a very common name among people around my age. I grew up going to a very small school and there was another Kristen with an E in my class most of the way. And in my kids’ little playgroup, we have a Kristen, a Kristin, a Kristi, and a Christy among the moms.
My older brother and sister have diminutives of their first names and I don’t. When they were in trouble my mother would call them by their proper first names ie Richard or Michelle. But my head never snapped around until my mother got to my middle name. She caught on quick and began using only my middle name when she needed my attention. I still cringe when I hear “Renee!”
I think because I didn’t have a nickname is the reason why I now use so many endearments with my boys. The best part is that they seem to like it!
My middle name is Elizabeth, a name I love and one we considered giving to our daughter, but, like you, my heart drops a bit when I hear, “Kristen Elizabeth.” I always assume I’ve done something wrong, but maybe that’s just the Catholic guilt talking. :)
I’m ‘that’ parent, too, and the first time I heard it come out of my mouth, all I could think was, ‘What a cliche!’
Ha! I do that, too! And yes, it’s official that I’ve become my mother.
I have a bazillion different nicknames for each child…it’s odd. I just can’t seem to decide on one apiece. Do you think that says something about my fickle nature? (don’t answer that)
Yes, like the others, I am a full-name-when-in-trouble kind of mother, just like my mother. My original name was Catherine Louise and then I took my maiden name as my middle and dropped Louise. (I couldn’t stand Louise as there was a girl in my kindergarten class that used to pee her pants on the story rug and ruin it for everyone.)
But further, I am Cathy much to my dismay for I always wanted to be Cate. It just never stuck. I could try and people have offered to help but it seems like too much work. :-) Great post!
Well, Cate, I do love the name Catherine and all of its derivatives. ;) My grandmother was named Catherine and she went by Kay – a fact which, understandably, often makes people think that she was Katherine with a K.
As we wait for baby #2 I’m glad to learn that other parents have multiple nicknames for each kid. I use IEP’s first and last name from time to time – not necessarily when he’s in trouble – but never use his middle name. I have at least a dozen other things I call him regularly, but had recently started to worry about not having nicknames for #2. I have to remind myself that those nicknames will evolve organically just as IEP’s did, and I can’t wait to see what they are.
On a side note, as a kid amongst Nicks, Matts, Jennys, Megs, Annies, and other kids in my school and neighborhood, there’s really nothing you can do with Gale. So I decided to lengthen my name to Galea (prounounced Gale-Leah) so that Gale could be my nickname. My mom still has school papers of mine from the first grade that have “Galea” written at the top. :)
Oh, that story cracks me up. That is so quintessentially something I would have done as a kid.
My husband’s family calls him by his middle name (Steve), yet in all other circumstances he goes by his first name (Gabriel). Anyone eavesdropping on our conversations must think we are crazy! As a child, I did NOT like my name, along with the middle name Famous- which is a family name, but I have grown to appreciate it. My family tends to call me “Pete”……..
When we had our daughter, we initially called her by a diminutive of her name…. A conversation I had with a woman one day at a Greek diner resonated with me: if we never use her real name, she’ll “lose” it. I don’t know how true that is, but hat conversation made quite an impact on me, because I usually only call her by her full name now…. Along with nicknames that sound nothing like her name- depending on her (and my!) mood.
I’ve always loved your name – and I love your daughter’s too. They are unique and lovely, just like you! xo
What a delightful post. I grinned when you mentioned calling your kids by their full names, including the middle name. (And kids seem to know that the you-know-what is about to fly when they hear all three names…
Now, if you start calling me Big Little Wolf, I know I’m in trouble…
Haha. Loved Wolf’s last line.
Anyway, sadly for me, I don’t have a middle name so I never knew when my punishment was getting close :) For my daughter however, I did become THAT parent, just like you mentioned, recently. She’s named after her grandpa’s middlename so when I used all three, she frowned and asked, “What’s Kennedy?”
I had forgotten to mention to her her full name prior to that incident. Oops. At 2.5 years, she finally learned her full name.
I have nicknames for my kids. My own name is not very amenable to shortening, so maybe that’s why I like to give them nicknames. Though my family (not my husband) calls me Jan. I like that they have a special name for me.
Yep, lots of nicknames in this house. I call my son “monster” along with a couple others. It started one night when he said that he couldn’t sleep because there was a monster in his room. I told him that the only monster in his room was him and that the only monster in mine was me.
So ever since we have had this thing running between us.
And I often use both first and middle names with both of my kids. It is not unusual. Although it is worth noting that when my daughter yells at her brother she always uses his first and middle name too.
I love that. Maybe she’s in training to play out parental stereotypes if and when she becomes a mother someday. :)
Growing up in France named Milka, I got to hear a lot of jokes involving chocolate, since it’s a very popular chocolate brand in Europe (they sell it in the US too now). And it’s Yougoslav, so people often got confused about my origins. They nicknamed me the “little Polish girl” because with blond hair, blue eyes and rosy cheeks, I did look like one.
As for my kids, I don’t have specific nicknames for them, but my affectionate expression for them is “mon poussin” (my little chick), which sounds a lot nicer in French than English…
My youngest was also given the unofficial middle name “are you f…ing kidding me?” Don’t laugh, that’s what his dad says when he heard I was pregnant with him… Since then I’ve actually found it quite appropriate when I see the messes he can get into. Usually it’s the expression that first comes to my mind where I see one of his new “creations”. I think he’ll turn out to be quite a prankster so I’ll probably tell him about his middle name when he’s (a lot) older.
Thanks for starting this discussion about names, it’s fun to read people’s responses!
Yes, it does sound like a wise idea to wait until your son is a bit older until you reveal his secret nickname. If he’s anything like my sons, he would sense that it was a “bad” word and repeat it as often as possible – and at especially inappropriate times. :)
Alas, I’m afraid it’s too late… He went through a (very) long phase using the F word and its adjective form, quite appropriately by the way. Looks like he’s over it now, fingers crossed. Now, I wish I could same the way of the adults in the house!
We actually gave Wee ‘Burb a first and middle name so that her initials could be a nickname. But when she was born, it didn’t fit. What did fit was “Monkey” at her immediate interest in her feet, particularly touching and later picking stuff up with her feet. So she’s monkey, Baby Girl, Baby, and about a million other things. And she responds to them all quite happily.
I, too, have found myself using my son’s first and middle names in moments of frustration. One day, when my son was angry with me, he yelled out “Mommy Matthew,” thinking, I guess, that his middle name was just something said when one is angry. It made me stop in my tracks and rock with laughter. Even now, I’m not sure he knows that Matthew is his middle name.
I LOVE it! That story gave me a big belly laugh. I can only imagine how you must have cracked up in the moment. :)
I won’t go into my name difficulties since I’m sure you’ve read about enough of that in my book :), but I, too, gave an extraordinary amount of thought to my kids’ names. My son’s middle name is Elliot, named for his paternal grandmother Ethel. Imagine my chagrin when, at one point, some snotty kids at his school began calling him Smelliot after some cartoon character!
One very disconcerting thing of late regarding names: my son is transferring schools and now will be using the shortened version of his name (Like Robert/Rob, or Richard/Rich). Of course, I meant to name him the full name, but at some point using it made him seem like he was about five- years-old permanently. Who would’ve thought?
My mom ALWAYS used to use my first and middle name if she was upset with me. I have yet to do that with my kids. My daughter, however, I usually call her Maddie, the shortened version of her first. When she’s doing something she’s not supposed to, though, I’ll say her first name in full, “Madison, get back here!”. My boys have never had a nickname, so it’s only my daughter lucky enough to have that treatment.
Fun post Kristen! My daughter has nicknames from me, my husband, both sets of grandparents, her aunt and uncle. Sometimes when we are talking, she loves to list each nickname and identify it with the person who gave it to her.
As far as middle names go, in Indian tradition the child usually takes on the father’s first name as the middle name. I am not quite clear why this is the case, but it’s an accepted practice.
My mom had nicknames for me that no one else used. I was just telling my son how I miss it because no one will call me by those names again.
My husband gave me a nickname that everyone uses for me.
I have a lot of cute little names for my sons. When I use their middle name they know I am serious . Fun post, Kristen :)
I almost never use the real names of anyone in our house. It is always nicknames that I make up as I go along. Baby Girl, Bubba, Sweet Girl, Lovely, Boo Boo, Noodle, Widgiewoo, Lovey Doodle, Monkey and a zillion other possibilites and permutations.
As for me, I love having an unusual name. I have only ever met another Finola once, and she was a one-year-old so we didn’t really bond over the fact that we share an unusual name. Though through social media I have now connected with a few others and I hope to meet another (adult) with my name eventually. Great post :)
The only other Finola I know of is Finola Hughes, a British-born American soap opera actress. Your photos suggest that she is almost as pretty as you. :)
Call me Ishmael :)
… or not. I remember wanting a nick-name so bad as a kid, and not really having one. Later I had some, and I liked those (and I certainly got the full name reprimands as a kid)… still, I sometimes like to remember that naming things, and people, doesn’t truly define them, it only shapes the way we perceive them. After all, what gave us the right to name things in the first place? I know it’s convenient for sorting things, like our kids from other people’s kids—but we too easily lose sight of the sacred that pulses inherently in everything before, and aside from, whatever we call them.
Your comment makes me think about religious communities that practice adult baptism or conversion. I wonder if they give their followers the chance at those ceremonies to choose their own names – so that an individual could define for him- or herself how he/she wanted to be perceived.
When I was in eighth grade, I chose my confirmation name: Catherine, after my grandmother. I chose it to honor someone I had loved and lost, but I can’t say that it was anything more profound than that.
My aunt (my mother’s sister) had three boys, Shelly, Paul, and Jeffrey. She was a nervous woman, and each boy was a handful, always getting into trouble. When she reprimanded one, she was usually so rattled she never got the right name. She’d say the first of her son’s names that came into her head, usually the wrong one. Then she’d try another name, and another, until she hit it. Eventually, she just took to calling all three boys “Shelly Paul Jeffrey,” as did the rest of the family.
I haven’t quite gotten to that point yet, but I often use the wrong names (and even the “wrong” nicknames) for my kids.
I am striving to become a stereotype, apparently, one step at a time.
Having taught Kindergarten for 6 years before I had my oldest, my husband and I had a difficult time trying to find names for either gender since the baby keep it’s legs closed for the sonogram. My challenge was to find a name that kids could not make fun of in English or Spanish, since we live in a predominately Hispanic community. We had a girls name, Emily Anne and could not agree on a boy’s name until a week or so before Matthew was born. We fell in love with it when we heard the Gospel according to Matthew read at Mass that Sunday. It was a welcome change in first born son’s names, as my husband and father in law are both John’s, III and IV respectively.