I’ve been reading with great interest the conversation my friend Meagan Francis started over at The Happiest Mom about modern families hiring household help. And I know I’m not alone: in addition to sparking a hopping debate in her comments section, Meagan’s essay was featured at Simple Mom and Motherlode.
I applaud Meagan for dipping her toe into some potentially shark-filled waters. While many of the comments on her post – and those that followed it at other sites – were supportive of her admission that she employs a housekeeper twice a month for 3-4 hours at a time, others were critical of her. Still others seemed to embody the attitude I have: they have help, but are almost embarrassed to admit it.
Yes. You heard right. My name is Kristen and I employ household help. More specifically, I have a twice monthly cleaning service and – here’s the real kicker – a remarkable mother’s helper who has been with me almost every weekday since I got out of the hospital after Baby Sister was born.
My heart dropped into my stomach a bit just writing those words. And why? Why do I feel like my nine year old self sitting in a confessional, telling my Catholic school priest my sins?
Bless me, readers, for I have sinned. I pay two different women to help me manage my household.
I guess I fear that you’ll think I’m spoiled. Or lazy. Or weak. Maybe you’ll think differently of me now that you know that I am not some Superwoman who can take care of three kids under four years of age by herself. Maybe you’ll make assumptions about my priorities or my short-comings.
Maybe so. But this is who I am and these are the choices that Husband and I have made. And in the interest of fostering an open community here at Motherese, I want you to know me. The parts you might like and relate to. And the parts you might question.
And I confess to you today for two reasons – with thanks to Meagan for helping me see the importance of doing so through the discussion that her post generated:
1. I realize that I, like you, am doing the best that I can. And right now, I need help.
I can’t physically or emotionally do this job by myself while Husband is at work. When we contemplated having another child so soon, I knew I would need a right-hand [wo]man by my side in order to make it work. And we were lucky enough to find a young woman who has become an integral part of our family’s life.
And maybe you think you could do it without help. And maybe you have done it without help. And I applaud you for that.
But this is what I’m doing. This is what works for me and my family.
And maybe you’ll judge me for this admission. Maybe you’ll feel just a twinge of Freudenschade. But I hope you won’t.
After all, does any of us really know what goes on in anyone else’s household? Maybe your partner travels every week and you pull the night shift solo. Maybe you live next door to your parents and have copious free childcare. Maybe you are a single parent. Maybe you have teens and your parenting challenges are far less physical and far more emotional.
We all have circumstances in our lives that make them relatively easy and relatively hard. And I think we are all just doing our best to get through the days as happily and healthily as possible. And this is how I’m doing it.
2. The work that I do as a mother and household manager has real value. And just because we humans don’t pay stay-at-home parents to do their jobs doesn’t mean that families could function without someone doing them.
When Husband and I were calculating the cost of increasing our family size, we thought about the monetary price of hiring people to help do some of the work I normally do solo. We weighed the cost of that short-term help, the benefits it would lend us, and the sacrifices that we would have to make in order to afford it. And we reached a number that we could live with. And when I write checks to the women that help us keep our household functioning, I recognize the monetary value of my own work in our home and how lucky I am not only to be able to afford their help, but also to have a partner in Husband who recognizes our value as well.
What do you think?
Do you have “help” – whether hired, familial, or community-based? For what tasks would you love to hire household help if money were no object?
More importantly, do you still like me? :)
{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t imagine women out there being disturbed by or annoyed with the fact that you have two women help you manage your house. I can’t imagine another woman, another mother, saying “You should be able to do it on your own; you SHOULD do it on your own.” That, in my opinion, is a ridiculous thought/statement/assumption/direction.
But maybe someone will thing MY opinion is ridiculous– that we mothers need help (that all people need help) and that, if we are lucky, we get it how we can, even if that means paying for it.
I think often about the fact that we have no idea what’s happening in the house next door, or down the street, or of your own good friend you met for a playdate just yesterday. She didn’t tell you much, but she was sweet with her children and yours. It doesn’t seem like she could possibly yell or get upset, that her house is ever in disarray, that she ever cries, alone. But my bet is that she feels just as incapable as the rest of us from time to time.
And now I’ve gone on too long but…good to have you back. If getting help means more writing from you, I think all of your readers will be happy! I find it ironic and sweet that we are re-entering the blogosphere at the same time. As if I had a newborn or something…heh
I still like you :)
And say more power to you! Part of our decision not to have more than two was knowing that we wouldn’t be able to afford the extra help, and that my mother across the country. Had she lived close by, I think I would have been more likely to go for the third (and fourth… since I have a thing about numbers… it had to be two or four ;)). I think it all depends on each individual situation, and what works for you. And while I will say I’m a teeny bit jealous of the housecleaner… I’m happy for YOU that you have what you need to run your home.
xoxo
When I was a young teenager, I worked as a mother’s helper for a family with seven children. Where we lived, it was common for larger families to hire girls who were looking to start earning a bit of their own income as a mother’s helper. Sadly, it would have been unheard of for someone with less than four children to do this. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve started to think it would not, in fact, be a sign of me failing as a mother if I had someone in to help me out a few days a week. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the same thing Meagan said – that it’s only been in recent times that having someone in to help around the house has been considered only the provence of the privileged.
Now I think it would, in fact, make me a better mother if I wasn’t bearing the full weight of everything – wife, main caretaker, preschool teacher, housekeeper, cook, etc. We’re not in a place right now to have help, but in a very few short years we hope to be living near enough to my parents that they can help out, to their delight and ours. I live for those days!
So anyone who does hire help for some things? I think is incredibly wise, and I admire the humility that is able to say “You know what? I can’t, in fact, do it all. I need help.” That takes a lot to be able to admit, and I applaud those who do so!
Louise – Thanks so much for being here and for your thoughtful comment.
It took a lot for me to be able to admit that I need help, especially because my local friends are much more the do-it-yourself types when it comes to childcare and home management. But I finally realized that I’m the only one living my life (and it’s the only one I’ll get!) so I have to spend less time worrying about what other people will think and more time making the choices that are right for me and my family. And I’m so grateful to be in a financial position to be able to make the choice that we have.
It’s a pleasure to have you here at Motherese. I do hope you’ll visit again!
You are so evolved.
I wish I could have been this evolved when I had young people at my home. Instead I threw a rollerskate across our playroom.
This is because the job is really, really hard. It’s emotionally and physically taxing. There’s not enough sleep. There’s so much touching I think my skin might fall off. And there is not a speck of alone time. Unless you are PURPOSEFUL about grabbing it. And that takes evolution. Which I didn’t so much have.
But I acquired it. Because that’s what the job offers.
I think it’s so lovely that you are offering women a place of rest. We need rest and togetherness and places where we can all let our hair down and say, “I need you. You need me. We can’t keep competing. Could we all just enjoy. And rest.” And enjoy some more. I really think the point is the joy.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I truly do.
And by the way, I didn’t throw a rollerskate across the playroom before asking for help. It was those damned Legos I mentioned in my last post. :)
ick, women can be so damn mean to one another! if anything, i’m jealous of you (and the women with grandparents nearby to lend a hand.)
a friend of a friend has a full-time housekeeper, because she says she didn’t quit her job to have a perfect house but to be with her kids. i admire the ballsy-ness of it:)
there are things worth apologizing for, and needing a hand (or even being able to afford one) is not one. enjoy without guilt. a rested mama is a good mama.
You know what I love about your comment, Suzannah? The fact that you can say “Hey, I wish I had some childcare help like you do” without calling me a name. I feel really lucky to have put this post out there and to be getting responses like yours that say, “Lucky you!” without any of the ugliness that might come with it. (Hope that makes sense.)
Thanks for visiting Motherese! I hope you’ll come back soon.
I still like you. :)
My first jobs, in high school and college, were in housekeeping – so I have appreciated decisions like yours, and now I can also complete relate to them! In our case, the do-it-ourselves house building is getting in the way of housekeeping. One day…
Two cousins of mine have households that run smoothly only because they have great help – between kids and jobs, they’d be lost and frenzied without it.
I still like you! And I’m laughing about the skate across the playroom. I have help too – less now that my kids are both in school full-time, but I still have some help cleaning the house, and I’m grateful for it. I think it’s easy to slip into martyrdom and I’ve seen more than one marriage corroded by the resentments that build up when everybody is feeling incredibly put-upon. So bravo for figuring out what you need and for getting it. I mean it. xox
“I think it’s easy to slip into martyrdom and I’ve seen more than one marriage corroded by the resentments that build up when everybody is feeling incredibly put-upon.”
Yes, yes, yes. This is the perfect description of me right after our oldest was born. I can’t tell you how much better things have gotten since I asked for help.
In my view, there is no shame in admitting you need help. Whether that is help dusting your baseboards (what? I heard my mother mention it before…) or help adjusting your brain’s chemistry to the right levels. We want – we need – to be as fully present for our families as we can, and if that takes help, then the help is critical to the very fabric of the family.
If I had the money (i.e. if it wouldn’t require me going back to work f/t) I would have someone in here in a heartbeat. I do believe my own baseboards are beyond redemption. ha.
Your comment made me laugh out loud because yesterday, for the first time in a long, long time (maybe ever?), I dusted our baseboards. I was down on the floor doing tummy time with Baby Sister and I was suddenly disturbed by the layer of grime on the living room baseboards. I hope your mom would be proud of me!
Marmy had help.
It’s a lot better than putting a kid in front of a screen because you’re tired.
Logically, I know hiring a service to clean a couple of times a month would would be a tremendous help to our busy schedule. But letting someone else into my “domain” is sooooo outside my comfort zone. I just haven’t evolved that far yet.
But at the same time, I’ve come to realize over the years that the house doesn’t have to be perfect. My husband an I have taught the boys how to do house work and yard work. The results aren’t always great or the way I would have done it and I’ve learned to let it slide. That’s a huge step for me. Nothing else in life is perfect so why the house?
Good for you, Kristen to know when to ask for help!
I like you more now.
First of all, I really try not to judge parenting. My husband and I argued about this before we had a kid. He was offended that this guy he knew was a stay-at-home dad and hired a nanny to come over once a week. He found that frivolous, and I found his thinking offensive. Since we have had a baby, I think he gets it now: it’s a whole different ballgame. Sometimes YOU NEED A BREAK!
I’m struggling b/c sometimes I can keep it together: I can clean and work and keep the baby alive. But now that Wee ‘Burb is a toddler and destroying everything around her and I’m busier at work, even when she’s in daycare, I am struggling to cram everything I need to do (groceries, cleaning, and then, you know, the JOB I GET PAID TO DO, which lately seems an aside to the JOB WITH NO SALARY BUT SO MANY BENEFITS).
I have been considering having a housekeeper once a month or so. But I end up feeling guilty when I’m sitting and writing or reading, like I shouldn’t hire someone to do something I could do instead of those things. I’ll get over it someday.
I still feel guilty a lot of the time. Most of the time that happens when I’m looking at myself as I fear others might see me (“Look at Kristen at Kroger with only two of her three kids…she actually pays someone to watch her baby so she can go to the store with the boys?! Outrageous!”). I still have a long way to go before I worry less about what others might think.
Posts like this help, though, because I see that, at least among those commenting, my fellow parents aren’t shooting virtual daggers at me over my choices.
*raising hand* I’m guilty of that twice-a-month cleaning service, too. It’s a Godsend. And yet, I have a teenager and two active kids and a husband who doesn’t see dirt, so my house still always looks dirty anyways. It’s maddening.
What I really want is a laundry service. Dang, I just cannot keep up.
And you are still quite likable, I assure you. Because really, it’s not a crime to need help, is it?
I want to tell you something: I have been known to load up all of the loads of dirty laundry and the kids, and take it all to the laundromat– usually during the workweek, when it’s not quite so busy. (Yes, I take an afternoon off work to do this a few ties a year.) The sad fact is that sometimes I just cannot keep up on the 10-12 loads per week unless I do them all at once. It’s expensive as all get-out, but well worth the freshly laundered clothes!
Plus, my boys love to play the arcade games, and there’s even a snack bar there. It’s almost an amusement park, right?
Uggg. This whole thing just goes to the way we invent excuses for judging one another as mothers and parents, doesn’t it? I mean, who really cares if you have help 2 hours a month or 2 hours a day if it makes you a more relaxed, loving parent? If U could afford extra help right now (and yes, for the record, we do have a cleaner who comes 2x/month) I’d definitely have someone help me pick up my kids (at 2 dif’t schools about a mile apart and no car, thank you very much!) 2-3 times a week. We can’t afford it so I don’t. But don’t think I judge all the mums who do that just b/c I can’t! No! I am envious….
Welcome back to the spinning world, Kristen. (A line from one of my favorite children’s books, On The Day You Were Born)
Delia Lloyd
http://www.realdelia.com
I like the way that both you and Suzannah draw the line between jealous and judgment. I guess I’ve never taken the time to stop and consider that a bit of envy isn’t corrosive, whereas judgment can be and often is.
Thanks, Delia.
I don’t have help, but I would love to have some. Living with three guys and a dog wreaks havoc on my house. The boys are old enough to help out around the house, but when you take into account school and work and family obligations and mundane errand running, there are just not enough hours in the day for us to get everything done. I would love to focus on just laundry and errands twice per month (much less actually having the free time to enjoy my children), knowing that someone else is taking care of cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming for the week.
That being said, I’ve not hired anyone to help me, and I have a pretty specific reason why. At first, there was no hope of affording help. Now there is, but I want to pay someone a living wage– and we’re not quite to that point yet. I cannot even begin to think of hiring a service– when I know those women work their butts off for 7 or 8 bucks an hour. I want to hire someone independent, and pay them well for their work. I’m just not in a place where I can do that quite yet.
I know many individuals who think hiring out is a horrific admission of… whatever. I like to counter that with the fact that only since the Great Depression have we had that as our American reality. Before that it was quite common. In some places of the nation, it has remained quite common. Not that it has always been done justly– but it has been done. It’s silly to place upon ourselves the expectation to be everything to everyone at all times. It just doesn’t work that way!
I think you make such an important point, Sarah, and one that ties into my second point about valuing the work that gets done in the home. It was very important to Husband and me to be able to offer the people that work in our home a living wage with benefits – after all, what would I be saying if I paid dirt cheap wages for the work that I am responsible for? That I don’t respect the work that I still do most of myself?
(Not to mention the fact that I don’t want to compromise my chances of being a Supreme Court justice someday because I didn’t pay my nanny’s social security in 2011. I kid!)
I still like you, and respect your honesty. For me it’s all about trust. I’m bad at trusting people to clean my house, let alone look after my kids. Which means I suffer. But having someone there to help is extraordinarily wonderful. I wish I lived nearer family. I think like so many choices, hiring help works if it makes you more sane. We do have a yard guy.
Nanny? Check. Housekeeper? Check.
You’re certainly not alone, Kristen. I’ve always said that when it comes to how we prioritize our time at home, no kid cares who cleaned his toilet. Spend your time where it matters to you and matters to your family. If you can afford help, and you feel that having help frees you up from obligatory crap so that you have the time and energy to focus on situations where you’re really needed, then by all means do it.
And brava to you for admitting your need for help, rather than drowning in exhaustion and frustration.
Oh, lady, I still like you. I don’t have help. But here is the kicker – I love to clean. And it also provides a great excuse to prevent myself from writing in the memoir I am working on (that’s another subject). I have several friends who have help and I don’t even think about it. Every woman and mother does what works for her and her household. Enough with the judgments people. Enough with the judgments.
“And it also provides a great excuse to prevent myself from writing in the memoir I am working on (that’s another subject).”
…and one I can’t wait to read more about!
I sort of see this discussion as being similar to one that I have had with many fathers and that is the need to be able to support our families on our own.
For more than seven years I was the sole “breadwinner” in the family. It is something that I’m very proud of. It is also something that has made me crazy. It hurt when things changed and I was no longer able to do it.
It didn’t help that many of my friends didn’t run into bumps in the road and continued to handle that particular set of responsibilities.
This experience taught me a lot about how I was socialized. I really wasn’t aware of it before that.
Circling back I think that a lot of the mental stress that we have as parents is of our own creation.
Can I say again that I am so happy you are back? I swear I am often on the same wavelength as you. Just literally 30 minutes ago I decided that I need to do a confessional blog about my older daughter going to daycare while I am home with the newborn. I feel guilty about it but I don’t feel I can manage both successfully and give both girls what they need right now all by myself… So yes I totally get where you are coming from!
Oh and we totally have a housecleaner…every two weeks. I don’t feel remotely guilty about that one though. Our priest suggested it over ten years ago while giving us pre-marriage counseling and we have had one ever since.
Well, if housecleaning help is clerically approved, I’m not feeling guilty about that one ever again! :)
Like a complete idiot, I let my cleaners go several years ago when I couldn’t take the one person showing up for a day of cleaning while I was working out if the house. It was supposed to be a team, in and out in four hours.
Here’s what I learned: anyone was better than the no one (me) we now have and a house that I’m convinced is too dirty to let anyone come over and clean! Also, once the money’s re-budgeted somewhere else, it’s very hard to find it again.
Have room in the confessional for one more?
I HATE housework. I hate that it takes time away from being with my boys doing something fun. I hate seeing my work destroyed within seconds of it being completed. I also have a twice monthly cleaning lady who I gladly pay and sacrifice whatever other luxury for. I am no sissy. But I cannot keep up. Between a full time job, three boys, a husband and the endless errands and shuffling of children for activities, there are not enough hours in the day.
I think I have been hit hard enough by the judgement stick that I could care less what other people think. This is not a dress rehearsal You have to do what works for you and makes you happy without hurting another human being. This is a huge load of my ever-full plate.
No judgements here. If anything, I am proud that I allowed myself the room and opportunity to say: enough!
Kristen, I am so glad you are back!! I have missed you. My new little guy is almost 4 months, and boy could my house use a good house cleaning! What I really wish for, though, is a cook who could come up with healthy and appetizing and creative dishes every night! I am having a tough time with that one while balancing a three year old and a little baby.
What strikes me most, though, is a need for balance, which I equate to sanity and happiness. If hiring a housecleaner, keeps your family more balanced, and thereby happy, then that’s all that matters. I stopped working part-time last year because our family was unhappy, stressed — miserable. We decided to do with less so that we could be happier while our son (now 2 sons) are little. For us, that decision — a very tough one (and one that made me really wonder why I couldn’t do it, why I couldn’t balance being a mother, a teacher, a wife, a family organizer, a house cleaner, etc. when so many other women can) has made all the difference in the world.
Hello, my friend. So nice to “see” you here!
This quote really resonated with me because I’ve said the same thing to myself many times: “For us, that decision — a very tough one (and one that made me really wonder why I couldn’t do it, why I couldn’t balance being a mother, a teacher, a wife, a family organizer, a house cleaner, etc. when so many other women can) has made all the difference in the world.”
I wonder about those women who seem to do it all: are they happy? wired differently than I am? suffering silently? or really able to juggle seamlessly? One of the things that motivated me to come clean – no pun intended – with this post was that I would never want someone to think that I do it all, all by myself. I wouldn’t want to represent myself as the very person (real or theoretical) who made me feel guilty in the first place.
Great post! Why are we so hard on each other? Right now we can’t afford help, but I don’t need it that much either. But when my youngest was born, I had someone come to clean. And when my husband was gone, I had a babysitter for 10 hours a week. Why do we hate on our sistas for getting the help they need to be the best moms and selves they can be? And who really cares??? I love the idea of help because we also are spreading the money around. You can bet on the fact that as soon as I can afford more help, I will get it!
xoxo
I used to pay someone to come in 2x/month to clean both bathrooms and sweep/mop the kitchen floor. Since I had to end the service, well … let’s not talk about how often or well those jobs get done. Which is why I’m actively recruiting a new “helper.”
I’m also paying a neighbor to watch my children the one morning/week they’ll be home over the summer. The other 4 mornings they’ll be at preschool or camp. If I could afford it, I’d send them both somewhere all day long.
People will judge you, but you have to do what keeps YOU sane and YOUR family happy. I’ll never be the woman who keeps a perfect house and successfully juggles children and work. Therefore, I rely on a village (even when it costs).
Hi, Kelly,
I think you make a really important point here: so few of us have that ideal “village” in which to raise our kids. Your comment made me reframe the idea of asking for help: we all need a village, whether familial, communal, or paid.
Three kids under four is a tough gig, no joke. It’s about making it through the day with your sanity intact, and however you have to do it is the way you should do it. Your way, my way, their way … It’s all about the end result: a loving, present, not-overwhelmed mother and partner.
Welcome back, friend!!
I think we all need help of one stripe or another—and where our society might truly evolve toward would be the use of resources to support young families who might otherwise not have the economic means to be free in the early stages to bond with their kids without undue stress. This would save untold fortunes in later health care costs (and probably even in law enforcement and incarceration costs, as secure children will be more resilient, healthy, better learners and less at risk for all manner of potential trouble).
I often wonder about the ripple effects of nannies who end up parenting other people’s children, which is their work (which sometimes means leaving their own children with a mother or someone else) so that parents can get back to their work (and to some degree this ends up less than optimal for many kids). I know that if we had it to do over again, we would have accepted even more economic difficulty to extend maternity leave.
It’s not just the first four months, or six months… basic trust is being most critically formed for about eighteen months.
I say, take all the help you can use—and let’s take the position that we all need each other along the way. If everybody got the support they needed, we would have no need at all for guilt when we get the help we need.
I agree completely – and our tendency to expect work from everybody, all the while failing to guarantee living wages and providing few subsidies for childcare for working families, frustrates me to no end. (See most recently the city of New York cutting funding for public preschools and childcare centers.) As I continue to count my blessings, I need to remember those who have far fewer to enumerate.
Stop! Stop RIGHT NOW! Do NOT feel guilty for doing what is best for you. Do NOT feel guilty for being able to read a book – if you want – or spend one on one time with one child or be able to fix dinner without it being frozen when you bought it – if you want. Do NOT feel guilty for allowing yourself to be the best you you can be for yourself, your husband, your children.
So glad I popped over to see if you were “back” and you are! (We’ve missed you.)
I’m with Nicki – don’t feel guilty!
Back in “the day” – my mother’s day and my grandmother’s day – even those with modest incomes had some sort of household assistance. In both my mother’s and my grandmother’s cases, their husbands had irregular hours and traveled; some sort of help for heavy work around the house was necessary, and it was common practice to use the services of handy man, a cleaning (woman) person, and so on.
Also remember – families lived closer then, and there were generally extra hands assisting with child care, cooking, and cleaning. And with larger families, as soon as the kids were old enough to help out – older children were helping with younger children.
As for yours truly, I suspect you already know my “help” situation. (Me, myself, and l?) But believe me – if I could have afforded it – I would have done it! Doing it all yourself sucks. Who in their right mind would want to?
;)
(Of course we still like you! And where are the pix of those beautiful little ones?)
I take help however I can get it, and I am proud of it. I have someone come in every three weeks to do the bone deep cleaning. If I could have her come more, I probably would. My children are obviously in daycare since I work, but when I take a day off, I still send them. I figure I have to pay anyway, I might as well be productive with my time, even if being productive means curling up with a book for a couple of hours. And I rely on my husband probably far more than many women do. I need time away from the house and I’m not afraid to take it. That means, he’s in charge at least once a week of not more. It’s how I maintain personal balance. And sometimes, even that doesn’t feel like enough.
I can’t remember if I said this anywhere in the comments already, but I’m also lucky to have a husband who is a real partner in child rearing. He’s at work during the day while I’m at home, but when he’s home, he’s really home and we share the load 50/50.
And I also hear what you’re saying about, even with help, feeling like you could always use more. I wonder at what point I would finally feel like I’ve got it all under control…
A few months after Abra was born we hired back the woman who used to clean our house once a month when I worked full time. I thought i could do it alone. I couldn’t. So she comes every three weeks now and I’m so much happier. We also have a babysitter who comes for a few hours every weekend, and once a week so I can work out. We have zero family that lives within 3,000 miles and have only ourselves to rely on. I the words of my husband, “I’m willing to pay for my sanity.”
All I can say is…I’m jealous. Ben and I have often discussed having outside help when and if we have more children. Frankly, a mother’s helper can get you started during the first year of adding another family member and help you spend more valuable time with your children. Is that so bad?
Good for you for coming out and being brave.
I have someone coming to clean the house every other week. I have back problems that would be even more serious if I can do the heavy cleaning. I also hate cleaning, even though I like a clean house. I think I can spend more quality time with my kids if I get this extra help. And I have zero support system here, so if my kids are not in preschool and I want a break, I don’t get one. What works for the goose may not work for the gander, but this works for our family.
WOO HOO! Good for you! We just had someone come clean for the first time two weeks ago. I have been trying so hard to keep up and it was wearing me out. I have to say, that having someone come and get all of that deep cleaning done in a 3-4 hour span is great….and most importantly, having all of it done in a single day is such a gift. I noticed that I could relax a wee bit more in the evening that week. I was happier because I didn’t have dirty floors and toilets hanging over my head. And I had more time for my kids, my cooking, for other organizing projects etc. Love it. Love this post. Will go read the links now.
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