Sick Big Boy + Sick Tiny Baby + Sick Husband = No Time for Good Writing
You see, some sort of springtime plague descended on our house this week. I have survived unscathed so far, but I suspect it’s only a matter of time before the fact that my clothing has come to double as Kleenex for all three boys in my house starts to catch up with me.
But, rather than send you off to enjoy your weekend with no offering from me, I thought I would share with you some of the gems that Big Boy, clearly feeling sorry for himself, has uttered over the past few days:
- “I can’t eat blueberries. My arms are too long.”
- “I couldn’t sleep. I have bad breath.”
- “I don’t like my home. The walls are too white.” (This is not the first time he’s shared this particular complaint.)
- “I don’t want dinner. My teeth are too cold.”
- “I’m too old. I just want to sleep.”
And then, to top it off, last night, after being denied a sip of my Coke Zero, he walked off with his head down and broke out into one of his favorite songs, “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen.”
I tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard a tow-headed two-year old eke out in his raspy, chest cold-infused voice these particular lyrics:
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Glory hallelujah
I guess that’s what I get for singing it to him sarcastically a few too many times.
With apologies and thanks to the incomparable Louis Armstrong.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neFApiYFth0&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0]
Any advice for Big Boy? How about for his tired mom?
—
Congratulations to Allison @ Alli-n-Son, the winner of her very own copy of Aidan Donnelley Rowley’s Life After Yes! Please join Allison and me and the other members of the Motherese Book Club as we read and discuss Aidan’s delicious debut novel. Click here for details.
Image: how to spend a sick day by ratterrell via Flickr under a Creative Commons license.
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
Too funny! I love that his arms are too long, so he can’t eat blueberries. Where do they come up with these things?
Thanks for the shout out on the book. Can’t wait to start reading!
Big Boy certainly is creative with his complaints! Plus you get singing entertainment as well. Too funny! When my guys are sick I just get the usual whining.
Advice? Keep washing your hands and hang in there.
Between diaper changes, potty training, and the arrival of springtime sickness, I think I’m washing my hands 75 times a day. Literally. But it seems to be working so far!
Have a great weekend, Erica!
Glory hallelujah!
My skinny boy got sick last summer and lost 8 pounds. When he was finally better he began to eat again. “Oh Mom, this is the best glass of milk I’ve ever had! Thank you!” and then, “Oh Mom, I’ve never had toast so delicious!”
The superlatives just continued for days while he ate and ate.
I hope you stay well.
So it seems the trick is to get them sick in order to fuel their creativity and gratitude…Interesting…
I love the things they say. LOVE. Except for the things they shouldn’t say that reflect badly on our parenting skills, although those too are gems (but this is between you and me).
I hope the plague lifts soon, and then you’ll be able to strut the snot-free fashion again.
Oh my goodness, that is just toooo cute.
Advice? um…nope. Sorry! I hope you steer clear of the germs and you’re all up and at ‘em again soonly!
Hilarious—you’ve just gotta love it. My advice: don’t change a thing.
But I do hope all in your abode feel better soon. Meanwhile I’m going to enjoy my short arm by indulging in some delicious blueberries on my about-to-turn sixteen-year-old’s cake (the kid who once suggested that a fruit fly “bring his own fruit” next time).
Bon Weekend
Do you think, Bruce, that the length of one’s arms corresponds in some way to his taste in fruit? Then again, all the fruit flies I know are pretty polyamorous toward fruit, regardless of differences in arm length.
Kristen, these CRACK ME UP! I’m laughing out loud. Where do kids come up with this stuff?!
That is so cute and so hilarious! Oh, the drama! :-)
Absolutely adorable.
Advice:
- Chicken soup. (Really. But don’t spike it.)
- OJ. (You know that already.)
- Suggest tooth mittens. (See what he says.)
- Promise to take him to the paint store. (Seriously.)
- Paint chips.
- Pick out a color for his walls. WHATEVER COLOR HE WANTS. (Seriously.)
- Let him help, when he’s feeling better.
- Try not to splatter tiny baby in the process.
- Pick a new song to sing.
:)
Believe it or not, I did suggest a blanket for his teeth. He laughed briefly.
As for painting his walls: yes, it’s on the agenda. Maybe your son would like to swing by. I hear he has experience in that department. ;)
LOL!! He’s so funny. At least you got a few laughs, right? That’s my advice: laugh as much as you can. It defeats the irritation. I’m saying this coming off the heels of a stomach bug that went through our entire family for a week and now colds. And, as you know, sometimes colds are the worst. Especially because babies don’t breathe through their mouths, which means they don’t sleep, which means mama doesn’t sleep.
Oh, Hyacynth, I’m sorry you’re feeling my pain first-hand. So far, I’m still feeling okay, although the lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me. Takes me back – not so fondly – to the days before Tiny Baby started sleeping through the night. Shudder.
I hope everyone in your house feels better soon!
Our kids have the same thing. What, did the sickness blog hop or something?? I am feeling very similar to you, no time to do anything but take care of sick kids.
A few weeks ago, I suggested to Aidan that she had gotten me and Becca sick via Twitter, so, yes, I fear these things are possible. Hope you guys feel better soon!
Those complaints are GOLD! Ha! Oh, the trials.
My mom used to sing that song all the time. I find myself breaking out into REM’s “It’s the end of the world as we know it” during meltdowns. I hope that doesn’t come back and bite me! ;)
Take care of yourself! I hope everyone starts feeling better and that you manage not to get sick!
I might try that song out. Then again, Big Boy seems to be easily offended these days and he might feel patronized by the lyric “I feel fine.” ;)
Oh my gosh, this is too much!! He’s hilarious, your Big Boy. This has me laughing in my office. And I love his form of logic. He couldn’t sleep because of bad breath?! Adorable. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
Here’s hoping you don’t get sick too Kristen! Fingers crossed for you.
That is so funny! Thank you for sharing. I hope your household gets better quickly!
BB is a riot. He may not know it yet, but he is.
Sounds like a weekend of vaporizers and soup is on tap for you. So sorry. And here’s to you not coming down with it as well!!
Oh my god. Too funny. These are some creative excuses from Big Boy! And if I were you, I’d start painting some walls in your house! Maybe bright orange? Turquoise?
I hope everyone feels better soon and you are able to stay healthy! xo
First, I like to compliment wolf on the tooth mitten idea. A 2 year old would take on to that and laugh for days. Laughter does heal. Sloooooowly.
I hope he feels better. I pray that despite being a human tissue; you escape unscathed completely.
Toddlers! They are so fun. Da Mo sings Johnny Cash songs which is a tad inappropriate, but he loves them. Maybe I should teach him a new song, too.
Chicken noodle soup vibes being sent to all of you!
I love Johnny Cash. Big Boy knows “Ring of Fire”…seems appropriate for how he’s feeling right now. Maybe I’ll suggest he change his tune.
Thanks for the good wishes, Alita!
Kids who are about to get sick are the funniest things. Too bad it changes rapidly in the next 24 hours to the most miserable things.
I am trying to picture my two year old singing this song. I hope everyone feels better soon. Stopping from SITS!
Thanks for stopping by, JDaniel4′s Mom! I look forward to checking out your blog too!
I’ve totally felt the exact same way as Big Boy during bouts of the plague, so I can only laugh.
Also, Javi loves the same song, but he heard it on Space Balls. Yes, I am publicly admitting that I let my kid watch Space Balls (too many times).
I’d say there’s at least a 90% chance that that’s where I learned that song. :)
I can’t help but laugh over the toddler’isms… I swear I’ve heard “my teeth are too cold” before as an excuse for something!
Sending you lots of love, and feeling better wishes for your boys, and steering clear of the spring sickies for you!!
Johnny Cash is one of my favorites. My kids sing Ghost Riders In The Sky With Me.
Poor you and everyone in your house. Colds are never fun, but they are downright awful for the mommy’s. Hugs and healthy vibes headed your way. I always found that a fun dish of I’ve cream is a cure all for despondent little boys.
Here’s a fun line from our house this week: I didn’t sleep well mommy, my yawns kept waking me up.
I hate when that happens. :)
Please, share with your devoted readers, how you managed to keept it together and NOT laugh hysterically in his face???
Inquiring minds want to know…
P.S. Seriously, Louis Armstrong rocks! And, for the recond, my nine year old LOVES Johnny Cash too!
Who said anything about not laughing hysterically in his face? :)
PPS: I am so tired, I can’t even spell…Meant to say kept, not keept…
Perhaps it is the company I am keeping of late…9, 7 and 3 year old boys are NOT good spellers…for real!
Ooh, he is going to be a fun teenager for you!
I wouldn’t have shared my Coke Zero with Mr. Sickie either :p
Hey Lamb – Thanks for visiting Motherese. And thanks for taking my side in the whole Coke Zero incident. I mean, who wants cold germs all over her afternoon dose of caffeine? :)
Comic relief is good for the sick soul. My husband is allergic to this week, but Jack and I have stayed healthy. What Jack hasn’t stayed is asleep. Two days of skipped naps somehow equal late bedtimes and scary-early rising.
I’d sing him some Louis, but he associates my singing with bedtime and has been covering my mouth.
Holy cow – I sing that to my kids, too! Nothing like a dose of sarcasm to jolt a kid out of their self-pity!
I love that you sing that song to your kids too! Sarcastic moms unite! Thanks, Bethany!
Awww… so sweet :) My 2.5 yr old son loves to sing too (and act pitiful). I hope you somehow avoid the plague!
So far, so good. Thanks for stopping by Motherese, Momma Drama!
You’ve got an emo kid in training there! ;) I hope you’re all feeling better soon.
Dang! I knew I shouldn’t have been dressing him in skinny jeans and black nail polish!
Thanks for stopping by Motherese, Rachel!
Your kid sounds awesome and hilarious, first of all. I hope he’s starting to feel better and that he’s at least brushed his teeth so he can get some sleep.
Adorable! The face and the oddball quotes and the song. I loved this. I hope you don’t catch the plague and that you all are free from it soon.
This is just too precious! Reminds me of my daughter. I used to sing “We Shall Overcome” to her and she thought the words were (to one of the verses) “We will live in peas” (instead of peace) and insisted on singing it that way. I love it that your son has inherited YOUR sense of humor!
Ooh, “We Shall Overcome.” I am going to add that to my list of sarcastically-intended spirituals! :)
Glad Alli won the giveaway! Fun!
So sorry about your being in a house of sickos. Sick men (of any age) are AWFUL. You have my sympathy. Now, go down all the Airborne you can (whether you think it works or not) to avoid getting it yourself!
My good friend directed me to the following YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE&NR=1. (Short and hilarious!) Apparently you and I are not alone, Amy, in noting a certain level of desperation in a sick male.
The kids are all sick with colds, coughs and sinus infections. It’s almost summer, what’s up with this germ invasion.
Nobody know the trouble I’ve seen!
I LOVE all the fun things kids say and yours really cracked me up!
I hope you all feel so much better, soon!
Sorry to hear about the infirmary you are managing there. Glad your system is fighting the icks. We have 2 kids with colds and I am dodging the sneezes.
I hope you’re all on the mend and that the little boys haven’t gotten you sick in the process. Somehow, after caring for sick kids for days on end, I’d always end up sick and then the house would really shut down!
Hope to see you healthy this week!
Good news: the boys are on the mend and I seem to have made it through without getting sick too. I think I’ll credit my superior toughness. :)
Oh, how I hate cold teeth. And bad breath to boot? Big Boy’s in dire straits, poor guy. Hope you are all getting some rest and feeling better over there.
I am so behind – AGAIN – and just catching up on blog reading. This post made me laugh. The drama these kids can conjure up. But then again, what else do they have to do except spend time dwelling on the “trouble they’ve seen.” Hope all of you are on the mend!
This posts was selected and featured as one of my great posts this week. Here is the link: http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/2010/05/great-posts-i-came-across-this-week-may_29.html
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