Once upon a time there was a girl. A brand new mom of two. Her teaching career on pause, she stayed at home with her newborn and 20-month-old sons.
She loved those boys. She loved her Husband. She had a lucky life. She knew she did. But she felt sad a lot of the time. She drank a daily cocktail of busy-ness and boredom. She was never alone, but felt terribly lonely.
She looked for projects. She started a blog. An itty bitty blog with pictures of her beautiful boys and anecdotes of their daily doings. She told her family. She told her friends.
And one friend wrote back: “I just heard about another young mom who started a blog. You should check it out.”
And so she did. And so I did.
That blog was Aidan Donnelley Rowley’s Ivy League Insecurities.
From the first time I visited Aidan’s blog late last spring, I was hooked. I had never seen anything like it. What she was doing was far different than what I was doing with my wee little private family blog. I knew next to nothing about this world that has come to mean so much to me, but I knew that this stuff – Aidan’s stuff – was good. It was really good.
For the first few months of lurking at Ivy League Insecurities, and long before I had the nerve to leave a comment there, I came to think of Aidan as a character in a fairy tale and her blog as the story of what happened to that princess after she married the prince. The Happily Ever After stuff. Especially when my own life felt lacking, I loved visiting this pretty lady at her pretty blog and reading about her pretty life in her pretty city.
But as I stuck around longer, I realized that Aidan’s life wasn’t a fairy tale. Not at all. Like the rest of us, she navigates a life of love and loss with insecurities and without a reliable GPS. And she was an unwitting, but nonetheless wonderful role model to me at a time when I had reached a proverbial crossroads in my own life: you see, Aidan had taken a flying leap of faith, saying NO to a career in the law and YES to the idea of writing. An idea that came to resonate very loudly to me.
In time, I started to visit some of the writers on Aidan’s blogroll: Lindsey, Sarah and Jen, Big Little Wolf, Jane. And I thought to myself, “Hey, maybe I could try this too. Start my own blog. Dive into these deep waters. Swim with these guys for awhile.”
Aidan said yes. Yes to her dream of writing. Yes to possibility. Yes to hope. Yes to fear and risks and chances and “What if?”
And her yes helped me say yes, too. Yes to my wish for community. For personal fulfillment at a family-oriented moment in my life. And from that, yes to a new wish to write myself.
So thank you, Aidan, for your yes. For your decisive yes that got you to this day, a raw and rainy Tuesday in May when your marvelous debut novel, Life After Yes, lands in bookstores.
Life After Yes is the story of Quinn—born Prudence Quinn O’Malley—a confused young Manhattan attorney who loses her father on that tragic September morning that changed everything. Now, at an existential crossroads in her life, Quinn must confront impossible questions about commitment and career, love and loss. Her idealistic beau desperately wants a wedding, and whisks her away to Paris just to propose. But then Quinn has a dream— featuring judges and handcuffs and Nietzsche and Britney . . . and far too many grooms. Suddenly, her future isn’t so clear. Quinn’s world has become a minefield of men—some living, some gone, and traversing it safely is going to take a lot more than numerous glasses of pinot grigio.
Although it features a cast of hot, wealthy people cavorting in and around my favorite city, Life After Yes isn’t a fairy tale either. Aidan offers us a wholly realistic protagonist whose life – although full of the trappings of happiness – is accessorized with grief, fear, and struggles with identity. Life After Yes captures pitch-perfectly the mood and anxieties of a group of New Yorkers in the wake of September 11th.
And it is good. It is really good.
And so it is my distinct pleasure today to announce Aidan Donnelley Rowley’s Life After Yes as the next selection of the Motherese Book Club.
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I was blown away by the insightful conversations that came from round one of our book club and our discussion of Christine Carter’s Raising Happiness. I hope that even more of you will join us in reading and discussing Life After Yes.
Here’s our schedule:
Week of May 31: Chapters 1-11
Week of June 7: Chapters 12-22
Week of June 14: Chapters 23-33
Week of June 21: Wrap-up and conversation with Aidan
Won’t you join us? Please say YES to Life After Yes!
(Aidan was kind enough to give me an early copy of Life After Yes, now lovingly underlined and annotated. So I will send my own freshly minted Amazon copy to one lucky, randomly-selected reader who leaves a comment on this post before 6:00 a.m. EST on Thursday, May 20, 2010.)
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I’m proud to be a part of Five for Ten at Momalom. Want to join us? Click on the button to find out how!
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Edited to add: My friend Amber at Making the Moments Count is also offering a giveaway of a copy of Life After Yes at her place. Please click over to her post for another chance to win!
{ 96 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes to inspiration, wherever we may find it. Yes to its surprises. Yes to a life changed by Yes. And a big, resounding Yes for Aidan on her amazing day. Good Luck, Aidan.
For any members of Five for Ten, please note that you can also win a copy of Aidan’s book over at our site. We will be choosing the best of the Yes posts and sending that lovely person a fresh new Life After Yes.
Hmm…what if Aidan’s Yes post is the best Yes post? Her post was pretty great this morning. :)
I agree. A really great one.
For some reason, this made me cry. How odd is that? The funny things is, I’m on a different path right now, I’m choosing to work for so many reasons and yet, like you, I know that sadness. Maybe it comes from a different place, but I get it. And I feel it lift a bit every time I come here and to so many others in this blogging world. It helps. I get that too.
And I’m very excited for this round. And I”m so excited for Aidan, and to live vicariously through her however little I can.
Can’t wait to get started. Kristen, what a lovely tribute to such a lovely woman. You are both very special.
Thank you for joining us, Christine – one of the MVPs of round one of the book club! And thank you for your kind words about me and about Aidan. I think we’re all pretty lucky to have this community in our lives.
Lovely.
I too fell in love with her blog and it has definitely been inspiring to watch her make a dream come true.
I hope you’ll read along with us, Alisha!
Hooray for Aidan and book club! I’ve been so frazzled with 5 for 10 madness that I haven’t been able to devour the book…yet! What a nice tribute you made to her.
Isn’t it such an honor to support Aidan? I’m so excited today, for her and for the release of LAY and because it’s the next book club book!!!! wooo hooooo!
YES, today is good :)
It is an honor, isn’t it, Heather? Thank you for putting it that way. I totally agree!
I am so in, Kristen! I, too, loved the book!!!
Such a lovely tribute to Aiden and to YES!
I just heard about her book two days ago. From the little blurb that I read, I’m totally hooked. Can’t wait to join the book club. Yes!
Welcome aboard, Allison!
A lovely tribute to Aidan and her fantastic book!
xo
What a lovely idea, Kristen. And a resounding YES to Aidan for going after her dream, and getting it.
And yes to all of us, as we learn each day in small ways, how both yes and no will lead us closer to discovering ourselves, and sharing those discoveries with those we love.
I need some work on the no part of that equation, so here’s to saying Yes to No!
There are these turning points in our life when we did not even know we had consciously said yes to something, and suddenly that whisper of “yes” changes everything about ourselves. I am always intrigued to hear how someone got the point they are now. All the raw emotions that go along with living life. The older we get , the more we realize how brutal it can be. Saying yes sometimes can be followed by much loneliness, like having children. I enjoy knowing you found another yes (writing) to take away that feeling of isolation. When you said in your blog today that Aiden had this pretty little life that you were comparing to a fairy tale, I like that there was a realization that there is no such thing as fairy tales. Even as adults who know better, we still want to believe in fairy tales. Kristen, my brother in law and his wife said yes to having a child, and this week they are in the midst of their own fairy tale crashing. Their newborn is dying. Life after yes can hold so much pain, but seeing that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel makes life worth saying yes to.
Oh Joely,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law and his wife, and what they are facing. I cannot even conceive of that sort of suffering, and how to get on with life after that. There is no explaining such a personal horror. My heart goes out to them, and to you – to find whatever solace or wisdom helps to manage the days and nights that should have been about a joyful yes.
Joely, I am deeply sorry to hear the news about your brother-in-law, his wife, and their child. As a parent, I cannot conceive of anything more horrible than the prospect of losing a child. Thank you for this important and necessary perspective on the “life after it” part of the puzzle.
I wish you and your family peace.
Joely, I’m so sorry to hear about your brother.
And THIS is what I was talking about when I said you are an amazing friend Kristen! You are so wonderful to write such beautiful words to and for Aidan on this most exciting day for her and her book launch.
I’m IN for the book club… can’t wait to go buy my copy today for all to see!
Thank you, Becca. I’m just so happy for our friend!
This is sweet and lovely, Kristen. Writing and sharing can create such profound inspiration. So glad Aidan’s work moved you to say yes to your own!
Did I just read something over at Aidan’s place about you and your long-distance friend planning to read Life After Yes together? (I’m a stalker, I know.) Maybe you both can join our discussion as well!? Hope so!
Kristen, this is just so much in keeping with the generosity of spirit that I love about you. This is everything I too want to say “yes” to, and I join you in lauding Aiden, whose blog I love to visit and whose book I truly look forward to.
I already think of myself as being in this book club, but this time I’m really going to read the book.
Yes all around!
Thrilled to have you join us, Bruce! Hooray!
Inspiration is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
I, too, was pretty amazed when I came across Aidan’s blog (during the first round of Five For Ten!)…she immediately became “the cool girl from Manhattan” in my head. I, too, was inspired by her courage and her honesty and the way she never apologizes for the life she leads, yet sees how lucky she is, and every day questions herself, her life, everything around her. I can’t wait to read the book. As I told Aidan on her blog, I actually wanted to get it AT the store, so I could be like, “Look, Honey, this is Aidan, the Ivy League Girl’s book.” I’d love to be part of the discussion, but alas, my “real life” book club already consumes much of my reading time, so I don’t think I could handle it right now, officially anyways. I will most definitely share my thoughts as I read it in the coming weeks! And it isn’t it wonderful that we can inspire each other out here????
It really is wonderful. And I thank you for being part of the cross-inspirational community that means so much to me.
I love this, more than you will ever know. I discovered Aidan’s blog through the Happiness Project and was so enamored by her story. And she is good, really good. I’ve met so many writers/bloggers through her blogroll and learned so much about myself.
You are one of those people Kristen and I thank you too for inspiring me as well. I am so glad I visited during Momalom and will visit often.
Thanks for this post.
Thank you, Rudri, for your sweet words. I’m getting a serious case of the warm fuzzies this afternoon!
Kristen,
My favorite thing about your post, is that I remember the day I got Becca’s email announcing your blog and suggesting I check it out as another new mama…and thinking to myself…hmmm, I should get her in touch with Aidan. As Aidan sometimes says, “it’s a big bloggy world”…but sometimes it’s a really small world too. Congratulations on your success as well…and Happy Day! for Aidan too.
Hi Dina! Thanks so much for stopping by.
I love all of the “real world” connections that I’ve ended up having with some of my blogging buddies. There’s something both moving and comforting about knowing that there’s this fluidity between the online community and the offline world.
I hope you’ll stop by to share your thoughts on Aidan’s book during our book club discussion!
I know what you mean. This is EXACTLY how I felt when I started reading each of your blogs. I felt like a minor league player trying to hang with the pros.
But, with all of your encouragement I decided to take a leap. It was freakin’ scary!
Saying yes, though, has given me hope that I can say yes to a whole lot more.
I am so VERY glad that you decided to say yes. Where would I be without you and your blog?
I love your baseball analogy! But there’s no way that you were ever in the minor leagues, lady. Out of my league is more like it!
Count me in! My autographed copy is eagerly waiting for me to pour over it. Can’t wait for the rich discussion.
Oooh, intriguing. I’ll play along (and, perhaps, actually read the book this time!)
Kristin, it’s great to get a glimpse of your journey from there to here, to the way you said “yes” to a new challenge.
I have a million other things I *should* be doing, but count me in for the book club. Can’t wait!
Oops, I didn’t mean to call you Kristin with an “i”. Can the Kristen with an “e” forgive this faux pas? :-)
She can and she will. Anything for you, Jo! :)
You know I’m in :) and can’t wait to start reading!!
I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of this book….and plan on joining the conversation this time :)
I just want to say, I’m so you jumped in! I love swimming with you and all of the other wonderful bloggers I’ve met in these waters. And I love reading your blog, with your take on life and on “yes.” I’ll be here for the LAY book club (hopefully with a little better follow through than with the last book….sorry!)
No sorries allowed, Jane. We’ll all do our best and jump in when we can. (Just like those deep blogging waters!)
Kristen, what a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to Aidan and to Yes. And Yes, I agree, it is a really good book.
I love how you so effortlessly pull people in to your very inclusive blog. And with that, I say Yes, I’m in on the next Motherese book club!
Thank you so much, Belinda. What a kind thing to say. And I’m so happy you’re joining us!
Kristen; you are amazing. Kind and gentle. Strong and insightful. You hold all of us up. We look to you. We really do.
You are a wonderful person and your blog name says it all.
Terry, what a deeply generous thing to say. Your kindness made me cry.
Oh Kristen, I’m SO glad that you blog! I’m so glad that you took the leap and joined all these other oh-so-talented writers. Motherese is one of my must-read blogs, every day.
Thank you, Eva. The feeling is 100% mutual!
I’m in! I found Aiden’s blog not long after starting my own blog. I was immediately hooked and humbled. She is an amazing writer. As a loyal stalker – um, reader – of her blog, I pre-ordered my copy a while ago. It should arrive today – can’t wait!! I look forward to discussing with all of you!
Aidan stalkers unite! So glad to have you with us, Missy.
I always enjoy reading posts like this. To me they help to highlight the joy of blogging. A joy that is tempered by the good and bad news that we “live” through in our reading.
Blogging has been an exceptional ride and something that has taught me quite a bit about life. It really serves as a good reminder that sometimes we all feel like we are on the outside looking in.
I really appreciate your perspective, Jack, as someone who’s been at it longer than I have and has undoubtedly seen more ebbs and flows.
Raises hand…
count me in. I can’t wait!
Raises hand…
I understand. I’m inspired, too.
So happy to have you, Alita!
Great idea!
I read it and I loved it, so I can do the book club this time. Yay!
Just started reading your blog a few weeks ago and I love it! Can’t wait to join the book club for round 2.
Well, welcome aboard, Bailey! Thank you for joining us and for your nice words.
This is a wonderful story to hear, Kristen. Blogging can feel so weird when you’re alone in your own house. It was nice for me to hear how you got started. Finding virtual friends…who knew it could work like that for real.
You have this sweet humility in the way you write that is very inviting.
Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you very much.
I love hearing about the genealogy of your friendship with Aidan. I often think about how interconnected the blog family tree is, and how cool it is to find the same people on so many of the branches.
My copy of LAY is winding its way to me now. Can’t wait to read and participate in the discussion!
Sounds like a great chose. I have frequented Aidan’s blog as well over the past few months and enjoy her content as well.
Can’t wait to join in the discussion! Count me in!
Kristen, I would love to be in the book club! I’ve been following Ivy League Insecurities for a while now and am so excited for Aiden! She sure is an inspiration. Thank you for this opportunity to share with you all!
You’re welcome, Mary! Thank you for joining us!
Kristen, I’m a latecomer to this blog party you all got going, but I would officially like tagging you as the next one to start writing a book yourself. There’s a big story and some bigger ideas in your “little” family blog. (OK, and now to order a copy of LAY to arrive when I get back home…)
Launa, I think you’re the one who’s going to write the book. I was just telling Lindsey that your blog is a book waiting to happen!
Kristen, this is how I feel reading your posts! You have inspired ME so much! I have been amazed at the friendships and connections that have happened here in “blog-world” over the past couple months that I’ve been “digging in”.
Thanks so much for saying YES, and helping me to find a way to say Yes too!
Thank you, Shawna! Your words mean a great deal to me.
I’m in; I love a good book discussion and I enjoy Aidan’s blog – and yours.
Thank you! So glad to have you along for the ride!
Kristen! I can’t wait for the book club discussion. Yay!
Wanted to tell you that I’ve read every post of yours during Five for Ten (yay for email delivery), but yes, commenting has been hard trying to keep up with new visitors and visit with my family who has been in town this past week. Can’t wait for the craziness to subside so I can start my commenting frenzy. Although you clearly don’t need it, you are becoming a comment queen! So jealous . :)
xo
So happy you’re going to join us, Lauren! And it’s always great to have you here – comment or no comment! :)
lonely and never alone–that is the hardest thing i’m finding about parenting tiny people.
sounds like a good read (and blogger.) will check out:)
Welcome to Motherese, Suzannah! I’m both glad and sad that you can relate to what I was feeling, you know? (Oh, and I love the name of your blog. Can’t wait to come check it out!)
A truly lovely, enjoyable, beautiful tribute to Aidan, and to your journey of uncovering YOUR talents.
I loved this post. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Denise.
The way you describe feeling about Aidan when you first found her blog-that is totally how I felt when I found yours.
I am definitely investing in this book, how amazingly kind of you to contribute your yes post to her-and what an example of how all of us bloggers should be saying yes to each other.
What a sweet thing to say, Kisha! Thank you so much. And so glad that you’ll be joining us for the book club!
I can’t wait to join this “Yes” community you’ve started. Beautiful post!
p.s. Christine from Coffees and Commutes was kind enough to intro me to your blog. She’s smart girl that one!
Well, thank you to my beloved Christine (one of my absolute favorite bloggers!) for sending you this way. It’s always a pleasure to make new blogging friends!
I too fell in love with IVL and ‘YES’.
I felt like, my calling to become a writer has become more clear :-)
My best wishes for Adian!!
Waiting for a Life after I said a YES
Welcome to Motherese, Rose. Thank you for being here!
I am new to your blog but very excited to join the Life After Yes book club. Looking forward to the discussion!
Thrilled to have you, Kathi! Welcome aboard!
Kristen,
It’s really great to read your comment about feeling lonely while being surrounded by people. I feel that way too. Ironically, I feel less lonely when I was alone.
I went through a period where all of me were consumed by saying yes and that was my worst lonely period. It took me a long time to realize that I felt so lonely because people didn’t see me, just what I brought.
Kristen,
It’s almost 4AM for me. Check my blog for the latest post around 10 AM PST. You need to read down past the rants.
Hi Kim,
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words – both here at Motherese and on your blog. I look forward to exploring your site more.
Ordered LAY from Amazon today. (Had to wait for pay day.) So excited to be in on this second – bigger and better?! – round of the Motherese book club. Yay for LAY!
Yay, Eva! So glad to have you on board. Happy weekend to you from the sick house chez Motherese!
This is really inspiring! I’m glad I came upon it!
Happy SITS Sharefest!
Hi Bethany – Thanks so much for stopping by Motherese! I can’t wait to check out your blog too.
Bethany,
Did you find this through me talking on SITS yesterday?
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