My Spring Basics
I’ve written before about my lack of personal style. As epitomized by my very “not me” purse, my wardrobe is a messy mixture of gifts, ill-fitting relics, and a few inadvertent gems. But what bothers me about my clothes isn’t that they are more Target than Lhuillier (that doesn’t bother me at all, in fact); what bugs me is that I waste time each morning trying to come up with an outfit that fits, works for my lifestyle, and makes me feel good.
I want all those things. I think I deserve all those things.
This mama needs a brand new (or at least gently used) bag…and shoes…and pants…and tops.
I recently bemoaned my plight to Big Little Wolf, who responded with news that was music to my ears, or, maybe, the cardigan over my tank top: She has just launched a new style series at Divorced Women Online.
I eagerly clicked over to read her advice. In her introduction, “Fashion Flair, the French Way,” she offers a tempting appetizer to her five-part series, in which she will provide “easy tips on fashion and style the French way,” and a promise: “Any woman can feel like a million bucks – or Euros – when you approach fashion the French way.”
She closes her introduction with a bit of homework – sort of like summer reading to get you ready for the school year. This assignment took me online and into my own closet to check out what I like, what I have, and what I might need.
The journey into my closet – which I undertook with a copy of BLW’s recommended Real Simple Wardrobe Basics Checklist in hand (what can I say? I love BLW; I love Real Simple; I love lists) – was a harrowing one.
Tiny Baby and his toy xylophone accompanied me as I looked through items that hadn’t seen the light of day in years – and others that suffered from serious over-exposure. I looked longingly at my preppy teaching ensembles and the party dress that I wore to my rehearsal dinner. I looked less fondly at shrunken t-shirts, stretched out yoga pants, and irreparably stained separates.
With the list as a not infallible guide (for instance, I don’t feel particularly grievously the lack of a tuxedo shirt in my closet), I sorted out, tried on, and occasionally got stuck inside (darn those camouflaged internal zippers!) every item in my closet.
Three big revelations:
- Things are not as bad as I thought! I have a lot of stuff, and among that lot of stuff is some pretty good stuff. The simple act of organizing was actually shopping in my own closet. For instance, I found tops and cardigans that I had consigned to the “work clothes” section at the back of my closet that will work perfectly in my current line of work.
- I have no pants! Almost literally. Two pairs of jeans, a few pairs of cords, and that’s it. Nothing to wear right now.
- My tops are too small! In stores, I am a size small. But as soon as I wash a top, it inevitably shrinks. As a fairly tall woman with a not-so-small chest, I then find myself wearing a shirt with unintentional 3/4 length sleeves or with an awkward puckering at the bust. Note to self: all of your tops that fit are size medium. “Small” might feel good in the store, but it doesn’t look good or fit good (or, well, well).
Okay, BLW, your eager pupil has done her homework. And I’m ready for lesson one, “Find Your Style.”
Do you care about how you look? Does your wardrobe project the image you wish to project? Do you think that looking good can make you feel good?
I, too, am following BLW’s series. I have come to the realization that, without a belt, none of my pants or shorts fit – yes, always the optimist that we are going to have warm weather for a while. I haven’t had the time to literally go through the whole closet yet but I should. I need to hoe out things.
Good for you to go through the closet.
Me thinks I need to visit BLW. I tend to go a little too casual or comfortable in my clothing choices. A little bit of guidance certainly couldn’t hurt.
I tend to go for the casual and comfortable as well, Erica, but I’m realizing that sometimes my casual becomes slobby. This week’s forays into the depths of my closet helped me to see that a simple cardigan over a tank top is just as comfortable as a hooded sweatshirt over a ratty t-shirt – but it makes me feel a whole lot better about myself!
I love fashion. I love looking good. For me, looking good does have a lot to do with feeling good. I have to dress nice for work. I am thankful for this because it forces me to ‘fix myself up’. But these things take time. Shopping (especially trying to find nice things on a budget) takes a lot of time and energy that most of us don’t have.
When I am home I often head for jeans, t-shirts, and flip flops or sneakers. It is just practical and comfortable for a busy mom. Still, we can make sure we have a nice pair of jeans and shirts that are cut to fit and flatter our bodies.
I am hopping over to BLW’s series right now!
For years I’ve heard Clinton and Stacy of What Not to Wear fame talk about the importance of fit – and it wasn’t until I actually went through my wardrobe and tried on my clothes in front of the mirror that I realized that I wasn’t doing myself any favors with the fit of some of my clothes.
Your point here, Celeste, is a great one: comfort does not have to be separate from looking and feeling good!
Funny, I was just going to write about this, when I looked at my closet the other day and found mostly clothes that didn’t fit, ones I didn’t like or ones I had completely forgotten about. Time for spring cleaning.
I do care about how I look. In fact, pre-baby, I wanted to be like one of those moms who look effortlessly put-together, even with a baby in her arms. Except most days, it takes ALOT of effort, and with a baby girl, it turns out I’m more interested to play dress-up with her than with me.
Among the many things that Big Boy likes to play, dress-up isn’t yet among them. Maybe I should consider myself lucky: if he did, maybe I wouldn’t have the energy for this little project in my own closet.
I am totally fashion inept. However, I do get the value in dressing for success, so I’m working on professional wardrobe. My biggest requirement (I know those folks from What Not to Wear would shoot me) is comfort. If I’m going to sit at a computer most of my day, I need to be comfortable. Getting that out of a professional wardrobe can be challening.
Oh and then there is the budget. Why, oh why, can’t I have a bigger budget?
There’s comfort with style, too. And on a budget. (What will it take to convince you? The Paris shopping tour during sale season? Oh, that would be fun!)
I love these kinds of projects! Every other year or so I pull out my copy of “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style” and purge, organize, and fill in the gaps. It’s a wonderfully cathartic process. And just reading Tim Gunn’s words makes me feel ever-so-fabulous!
I love Tim Gunn. Love, love, love him. I watched his short-lived show by the same name, but didn’t realize it was based on a book. That seems like a title I must own. Thanks for the tip!
BLW rocks! I’m going to check out her essentials list. Thanks.
This is so great. I just read BLW’s lesson 1 about finding your style. I am definitely classic and clean. No Bohemian in my closet.
Oh, how I echo your #2 and #3. I have a lot of dress pants for work, but only a couple “weekend” pants. Only two pairs of jeans that I really like and wear with regularity. One of these weekends I need to go on the great jean hunt.
HOLY CRAP, Kristen! You’re on the WordPress main page today!
CONGRATS – get over there and take a screen shot!
Thanks, Eva! It was very exciting to see my little corner of the Interweb featured on Freshly Pressed today. (And I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took me a few minutes of Googling to figure out how to take a screen shot. Still relatively technologically clueless over here!)
Speaking of moms, check out the link below for where to find unique Mother’s Day gifts personalized for your mama!
http://grubbygirls.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/she-got-it-for-her-mama/
Thanks for visiting, grubbygirl. I love your tip about the present personality profiler. Now I must remember to “accidentally” leave your post open for my husband to see…
I definitely believe that if you look good on the outside – well dressed and well groomed – you feel good on the inside. I may not be able to wear everything that I would like to because of my circumstances but with a little effort I am actually spoilt for choice. No matter how down I am, I make sure my care assistants get me up, showered, dressed, hair and makeup every single day. It definitely helps lift spirits!
PS Kristen I wear enough trousers for both of us! It’s ALL I can wear! Enjoy your skirts and dresses while you can.
Oh, you all have me smiling! (I do love my fashion, and you know how I feel about the French…)
Kristen – I’m so glad you went through your closet! And Nicki, you know I’m having great fun with our email exchange and photos. (Yes, dare I say it… I’m taking “befores” from those who feel like sending images, asking a few questions, and hopefully coaching you along to a tweak here or there.)
Eva – no Bohemians in your closet! (Does that mean no Latvians either?)
As for you, Tracy – I’ve seen your pictures and that smile – you’re naturally gorgeous. And I couldn’t agree more that a bit of makeup and being dressed is huge in lifting the spirits.
As for the series – there’s more coming. . . perfume, scarves, other accessories, confidence (critical) – and a few more items tossed in at the end.
I hope it’s fun! And this season’s hot colors?
Soft pinks and fuchsia-hot pinks, a range of glorious blues, gray and silvery tones (elegant on everyone), and neutrals – beige, black, white.
Also look for some very flattering (and energizing) geometrics. Fantastic patterns for any body type, if you manage proportion.
And Kristen – thanks for good words, and doing your homework!
Like so many others, I have a huge wardrobe.. but as you mention, organizing it properly is important! Even if I have so many things, I have a good system and use most of them – it just takes a while to get through it all. And I’m quite good at not keeping things where you think “oh, maybe I will fit into it again” or “it’s good for a fancy dress party” – I try to give away or sell them
Thanks so much for your comment, dancingirja. Although you might not always be able to tell it by looking at my house, I love organization, especially in small spaces. The simple gesture of organizing my clothes felt energizing.
And I’m with you on the power of clearing away the things that no longer work. That’s the next step in my process as I make room – physically and existentially – for the new things to come!
Hey. If you find yourself with any leftover fashion sense after this is over, could you send it on to me? Cool.
I need to go through my closet–desperately. It’s a wreck, and I have things in there that I haven’t worn since my teaching days (and will probably never wear again).
I also have a shameful number of shrunken t-shirts, like you do, Kristen. I am not “laundry adept” and shrink everything.
Off to go see what that rascally BLW is up to…good to see you here!
Rascally? Oooo. Maybe I can define one of my style choices as rascally… (Would it come with 4″ heels and a dash of red? I’m thinking, oui.)
From one rascal to another, TKW.
I actually found a lot of potential items in my abandoned teacher garb. Some of it I won’t likely wear again, but I think I might be able to weave a surprising number of things into my current wardrobe.
I don’t know if I care. I’m so stinking ambivalent or something. I care sometimes, I really do. I have very very little when it comes to a wardrobe and I think I pride myself on that, which is kind of dumb because if I do want to look good and feel good about how I’m presenting myself, I got nothin.’ I’ve even done a post begging to be on What Not To Wear so I can get a whole new wardrobe with pieces I LOVE and also so I can find my style because I change it all the time. I’m rambling…
I have to check out that post. Can you imagine how fun it would be to have the chance at a What Not to Wear makeover? Where do I start? The time to focus on yourself; the free clothes; the great haircut…
(Obviously this is something I too have fantasized about…)
Its great you could find so many things that work for you.
I have been working with apparel design lately, and their is one thing I know that would definitely work for you – Learning how to sew!
Then you wouldn’t ever have to worry about something fitting, or not having anything to wear, because its always much cheaper to make it yourself
http://www.eonephotography.com
http://www.twitter.com/eonephotography
http://www.eonephotography.wordpress.com
Learning how to sew, eh? Hmm…clearly you’ve never seen any of the “projects” I created in my 7th grade home ec. class. Let’s just say I’m not exactly a candidate for the next season of Project Runway!
They weren’t really that bad were they? lol
Have you gotten around to learning at all lately?
The wardrobe basics checklist is amazing and so useful for someone like me who is….shall we say… fashion challenged…lol…. thank you for pointing me at the right direction!
Thats great lol You working on getting up your fashion sense though? It always helps anyone who may be even a littl fashion challenged.
Its helped me so far, so I wanted to pass along the message.
You’re welcome!
Thanks so much for your comment, Krista – from one “fashion-challenged” woman to another!
I’m with Heather, I don’t care very much, but I do want to look good (thus, part of the reason why I exercise so much!) I have purged a TON of stuff out of my closet (Too excited to get rid of stuff that is too big for me now so that I CAN’T ever go back there!)
However, I do need SERIOUS help, so thanks for the kick in the butt! I’m on my way to BLW to subscribe!
BTW – Very cool about Freshly Squeezed on WordPress!!!!
Every season, I go out and buy new clothes. Clothes I don’t need. But it feels so nice to have something new to wear. And now that I’m a mom of two who feels guilty for buying anything for herself, I buy my clothes at Target. (Though I do NOT pronounce the “g” as a “j.” I’m not ashamed.) You can get a lot for a little. And then you don’t feel *as* bad when you go back in a few months to buy some more.
Yet, I always feel a bit like a schlep in the summer. I just want to wear yoga capris and tank tops with a sewn in bra.
Always pleased to know a fellow Chez Tar-zhay aficianada!
WOW. Look at how much you have in your closet! I have like 7 things hanging in mine. I’m such a t-shirt/jeans kinda girl. Can’t even begin to imagine what it would take to get me set up in fancy clothes…
I absolutely care about how I look, and I’m old enough to admit it. My closet definitely needs to be gone thru, ruthlessly. I’ll have to check this out. I love BLW, got there thru you Kristen!
Oh crap. Do I have to post my homework now?
Oh, yes! Please do!
I have had the same clothes for years. Many of them have shrunk and/or become so stained that I am mortified to be seen in public with them. How I keep up with my fashion sense is by having an annual shopping fest. Also known as “back to school shopping” except that B and I usually go at the beginning of the year, to, you know, catch all the greatest sales.
I also have the “small” problem. In the store I could fit into a small, but my chest area is a large. If I even attempt to try on a small I will inevitably leave feeling ugly and horrible. I usually choose a medium or large (depending on the shirt) and know that it will eventually shrink. I guess I could get a tailor. You know, with all that extra cash I have lying around. : )
Thank you for this post, Kristen. Mothers, I think, often feel quite out of touch with the fashion world. I believe, though, that fashion is how you feel inside. When you find a top, whether it is from Macys or Target, that looks good, you feel good. That is important.
I love this, Amber, and hope that it’s true: “fashion is how you feel inside.”
Have you been over to http://allkindsofpretty.com/ ? It’s nothing really fancy, but a bunch of moms talking about style, mom style, trying out different looks, etc… I contribute, but I’m out of ideas so who knows what I’ll come up w/ next
BUT… I’ve gotten a few new ideas of things to try from some of the other ladies.
My problem is knowing I’m going to get whatever pants I wear soaked in a stream chasing after kids, shoes are in the same boat, and my shirts need to wash VERY well because they get asparagus smooshed into them and yogurt splattered all over! (and I’m with you in the chest department… I’m not tall, but I’m relatively slim with an ample rack… not easy to accommodate…)
On my way to check out All Kinds of Pretty! Thanks for reminding me of that link, Corinne.
I’m a clothing whore and have been for as long as I can remember.
Even so, after my 4th baby, I realized my wardrobe needed a serious overhaul. My closet is extremely small, so I have to be careful about what I acquire. So I made up a rule: whenever I bring home something new, something old has to go.
Terrific post & glad you were highlighted on WordPress!!
Ahahahha! I almost have no pants, too. I hate…let me say that again…I HATE pant shopping. It’s like a horror story. Ick.
And I like the role of getting rid of something old when you get something new. I will have to try this!
Yes, I agree that pants shopping stinks! I recently bought a pair of jeans from GAP’s new line. I had already exchanged them twice for a different cut and my third time in the store I told the salesperson that for the price I was paying I would expect them to fit better (i.e. perfectly). She asked me if they would be worth keeping if she gave me 40% off. Suh-weet!
I guess that made up for all the pain and suffering
40% off would certainly suh-weeten the deal!
I just took a close look at my threads today, too (though until the house is finished and I have a closet again, that means a trip to our rented freight container). I love putting away winter clothes and getting out lighter things for warmer weather. I love, too, the spring cleaning element to this reintroduction. Weeding out my closet -I mean plastic tubs – is so satisfying! What’s almost more satisfying is that since a big weeding a few years ago, I’ve been buying things for keeps. It shows in how few things I want to give away, but also how much fewer things I own and buy.
Of course, there’s still a tub full of pieces I’ll never wear again – some that I can’t imagine ever having worn – but can’t expel for sake of nostalgia or just future head-shaking and Halloween.
If I do end up buying any new pieces as a result of this little adventure, I must keep this in mind: “I’ve been buying things for keeps. It shows in how few things I want to give away, but also how much fewer things I own and buy.”
My good friend spent some time in Sweden a few years ago and he returned with a new philosophy reminiscent of yours. He noted that the people he met had far fewer clothes than we do, but they were all quality pieces – not the disposable, obsolescent ones that litter so many people’s closets.
Thanks for reminding me of the wisdom of the Swedes!
Now that I just got back from LA I realize I need a style check. I lovely my well worn t shirts and broken down jeans…but there not cool just old like me.
shake it up. that’s what I want to do. catch ‘em by surprise.
Kristen, Congratulations on the WordPress Homepage listing!
You and BLW have inspired me to take a close look at all the crap in my closet. And there’s a lot. My biggest problem is climate: in Arizona it’s going to be about 100 degrees or above from May through the end of September, maybe into October. The aging, wrinkly arms don’t really want to be seen, but the hot, menopausal mom doesn’t want to be covered up. What to do? Gauze?
Kristen,
I don’t obsess too much over fashion, mainly because I am tired. However, like you, I love What Not to Wear. When I go shopping, which is nearly never anymore, I try to pretend Clinton and Stacy are there, kicking my butt for picking out stupid stuff.
After I had Andrew, I went on Weight Watchers and lost nearly thirty pounds. I have managed to keep most of it off, even after Joshua was born. I try to not cover up too much, but maintain a pretty conservative, classic wardrobe. What I would give for honest, professional advice instead of crinkled up 9, 7, and 3 year old noses in the fitting room!
Maria, good for you for losing so much weight and keeping it off! That’s a huge accomplishment!
I have yet to go clothes shopping for myself with either of my boys, but the image you create of the gallery of short, harsh critics in the dressing room makes me wary!
Hi Kristen!
It’s so funny you wrote about this because I’ve been really disappointed in my closet lately. I’ve always been BIG into fashion and personal style, but this whole having small children thing has really cramped my style. I have a closet full of jeans, tennis shoes, and t-shirts. It’s a uniform that I can wash when they wipe their runny noses on me, run after them when we’re at the park, and sit on the floor with them without my fanny hanging out. Sigh. I’ll get my style on again one day, until then… t-shirts it is!
Well, from your blog, it’s clear that you have a great eye for style so you’re way ahead of the game as far as I’m concerned!
I am not surprised that you have got so many replies. So many women have been in the position where they have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. This is often because their daily life has changed since they bought the clothes.
Good luck with taking stock and building a wardrobe that will work for you in your current life!
Thank you very much for visiting Motherese and for taking the time to leave a comment. I’m looking forward to exploring your site: from my quick look it seems like you address many of the style and beauty needs many of us face.
I remember being rather impressed by a Parisian friend’s closet in which she had maybe five outfits, but all top rate (and the flair for mixing all the elements up in varied ways along with well chosen accessories)—and how it contrasted with most American closets I’ve seen typically overflowing with things, many never much worn.
As a guy I look up to Einstein who just got seven of the same blue suits and wore a different same same suit each day of the week—never much thinking about what he would wear, yet looking elegant enough and not literally wearing the same thing every day.
I’m not smart enough for one suit though, so I have to decide which suit to wear each day.
Oh oh oh! This is such a needed topic! I just keep on buying new clothes as I gain weight. I srly can’t bring myself to look through my closet until I lose weight. Sadly.
My own style gurus Stacy & Clinton always say “Dress for the body you have” (i.e. you deserve to feel fabulous now – I mean, seriously, how much more fabulous could you possibly be?).
Thank you thank you!
Now I feel much better on this Monday morning trapped at work doing something I strongly dislike. Yup. I am totally failing the first thing taught by Carter: Be happy yourself.
I have been going through a similar process lately. Got a new job (hence my absence from you comment section!) and I needed to figure out which parts of my closet would tranition me well from being a stay at home mom and songwriter for the past two years, into being the office manager at an environmental non profit.
I am going to look up BLW’s ideas. THANKS
Congratulations on the new job, Camille! What an exciting time. I wish you all the best in your new endeavor!
THANKS! I get to be me fashion wise at my new job (well, toned down a little – the mohawk is a fauxhawk at work). I had a good day and thank you for your kindness, excellent and insightful writing and support.
Pingback: Mama Needs a Brand New Bag: Finding My Style « Motherese
Pingback: Mama Needs a Brand New Bag (and, apparently, a brand new scarf) « Motherese
Pingback: Help! Inexplicable desire to clean! | Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy