Comments on: Darkness: Uninvited

By: Just to be ME « Cafe Cevraini

Just to be ME « Cafe Cevraini — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:39:04 +0000

[...] read a post at Motherese last week about how whether our views of movies change over time. I had commented how I don’t [...]

By: privilegeofparenting

privilegeofparenting — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 07:28:18 +0000

I knew things really change for me as a parent when I found myself being choked up by, and loving, the Julie Andrews ouvre after years of cynical contempt for Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music.

As my kids grow, and come to love the dark, I’ve come to face my own fears in watching intense horror films with my kid…

What was hardest for me was working with kids like the girl in “Precious” while I had my own babies at home who got my unbounded love while my clients in the group home had my love in a way, but what they lacked from our world was staggering and heartbreaking.

Ultimately it balances out, and with young kids we go a little soft for awhile, certainly in our movie going. I remember loving “Pulp Fiction” as well, but feeling rather sick from “Kill Bill.”

But for everyone watching the sweet stuff, somewhere the dark must be seen. I guess I’ll be curled up in my mind watching “Night and Fog” and “Shoah”… but in the service of the newer parents and the younger kids.

Namaste

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:59:25 +0000

Kelly, your comment makes me think that some books and movies might be like a form of exercise: challenging and painful, but ultimately necessary to expand our “capacity” – whether of lung, muscle, brain, or heart.

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:57:03 +0000

Thanks for these words, Maureen: “the topic needs us to bear witness to these real life stories, no matter how difficult.” Helpful with establishing a rubric of sorts for movies that are worth seeing and which ones aren’t.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:45:14 +0000

I can’t sit through action movies with all the explosions and cussing and gore. It has never interested me. I’m also turned off by horror for the sake of horror.

But I love a dark movie that pushes me to think, feel, or understand outside of my comfort zone. I prefer the dark books, but movies will do (as long as they are spaced by light-hearted and quirky flicks to put me back in safe place.

Regarding Precious. I saw it in the theatre at 10 am on a Friday morning. I was the only one in the room and sobbed like a broken women throughout most of it. My entire body ached afterward, but I don’t regret seeing it. I have issues with the movie and its themes, but it is a reality that we all need to take a hard look at.

Just try to be home with tissues and someone to hug when you take that hard look. You’ll need them.

By: Liz

Liz — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:55:37 +0000

I was always easily affected by darkness, but since having children, I am even more sensitive. I have a friend who loves dark…movies, books, you name it…and she can not understand that what I long for most now in my life is light. Not necessarily stupid, but light entertainment. I can not see any kind of violence or abuse. I literally got sick to my stomach watching a documentary recently on the drug years in Miami. I had to leave the room, and was actually irrationally angry with my husband for bringing it home. Some days, I can not even watch the news. Seriously.

By: Maureen@IslandRoar

Maureen@IslandRoar — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:56:49 +0000

I’ve never been able to stand scenes of torture. For that reason I get upset by Tarantino films, even brilliant ones like Pulp Fiction. Maybe it’s cuz I’ve taken care of human bodies, wounded ones, and know what happens. But I was even like this as a kid. Altho I seem to be able to tolerate more realistic violence, like Hurt Locker. I even saw Precious, which was hard. Some films I feel an obligation to see, like the topic needs us to bear witness to these real life stories, no matter how difficult. Whereas torture and gratuitous violent crime scenes just scare the hell out of me.
And yeah, Everything changes when you have kids, huh?

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:18:55 +0000

I like your perspective here, Sarah. And I agree that it is fortifying to read or watch something in which the good guys win. It’s nice to be reminded that such things are possible.

Thanks for stopping by, Sarah!

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:14:42 +0000

Ooh, The Lovely Bones. Another book I enjoyed in my pre-kid days and cannot imagine reading now. Apparently it was made into a movie and the man who played the criminal was nominated for an Oscar. The clip they showed chilled me to my (lovely) bones. No thanks.

By: Amber

Amber — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 06:16:03 +0000

I am right with you. I cringe at anything violent. I can’t watch action adventure movies that show ruthless slaughter so vividly. I prefer movies that hint at it without actually showing it. The hints are often powerful enough.

For me it has come with being a wife and mother. When I see those movies, especially those depicting violence toward children, I picture my husband and/or children experiencing the pain and I shudder. I just can’t stomach it anymore.